Before I Die
by sisterhoodfan
Summary: Edward has cancer. He knows that he'll die soon, and before that happens, he wants to have fun with his life. He doesn't want to find love, but as he has 'fun', he meets a girl, named Bella. AH AU BxE
1. Chapter 1

**I wrote this story sooner than expected. Oh well.**

**Most of this story will be in Edwards POV unless I say it isn't.**

**Disclaimer for the entire thing: I don't own Twilight or any of its wonderful characters.**

**Prologue**

What fears a person the most? Is it spiders? Drowning? Life? Death?

Because right now I'm fearing death.

Hi, I'm Edward Cullen, and I have cancer. _Brain_ cancer to be exact.

**Chapter 1**

"Edward dear? Wake up sweetie." Esme gently shook me. I rolled over the bed and pulled the covers over my head, not yet wanting to wake up. I just had the most amazing dream, I dreamt of living a life were I had a full head of hair, normal colored skin, just like I was when I was sixteen. I didn't want to come back to the world of pain and misery.

"Esme." I croaked, my voice thick with sleep. "Can't I just sleep for a few more hours?" I asked.

"You've been sleeping for over ten hours." Esme said, I could hear the frown in her voice. "Its time to get up." she slapped my lightly on the back.

I groaned. "Fine." I mumbled and sat up slowly on my bed. The room around me was spinning, I grabbed my head, as if it would stop the room from spinning, it didn't though. Esme looked at me, concerned.

"Are you dizzy?" she questioned.

"Yes." I replied back.

"Deep breaths." she instructed.

In, out, I breathed heavily. Finally the room stopped spinning, but the pain was still there.

Esme took out my pill box, spilling the contents on the palm of her hand. I gulped at the sight of the many pills, there were at least five of them. I held out my hand and Esme dumped the pills on my hand, I downed them all at the same time and tried to swallow. Esme handed me a glass of water to help.

"Feeling better?" she asked.

"Much." I responded.

Esme smiled warmly.

"Well, come downstairs, breakfast is getting cold, we've been waiting for you to get up." Esme said walking away. I followed after her, but not before I got a glance at myself in the mirror. I looked horrible now. My hair was completely gone from all the chemotherapy I've done, and I look like a walking corpse. I pursed my lips, to keep from screaming at the person staring at me. Downstairs, I heard someone laugh, a booming sound that never fails to make me smile, Emmett was enjoying himself.

"Hello." I greeted once I was downstairs.

"Hey Edward, Jasper was just telling a joke about..." he trailed off, his eyes wandering to Esme who was now glaring at him.

"Never mind, I'll tell you later." he said waving it off.

"No tell me now, I want to laugh." I croaked, my voice weakened at the most random times.

"Okay, so what kind of dog do you get when a Bull Dog and Shitzu breed?" he asked, Emmett was having a hard time not laughing.

I shrugged.

"Bull shit!" he yelled bursting out into a laugh.

I couldn't help but crack a smile at his lame joke.

"Okay, enough laughing, Edward you have to eat." Esme put a big plate of eggs and bacon in front of me. She knew as well as I did that healthy food didn't help anymore. I dug in quickly.

"Someones hungry." Emmett joked.

"Shh." Esme warned going back into the kitchen.

Once Esme was out of earshot, I began to talk again, pushing the plate of food away.

"Emmett, Jasper?" I said.

They looked at me at the same time, a worried look on their faces.

"What?" they said unison.

"I've made a list of all the things I want to do." I said.

"Why?" Jasper asked.

"You know, before I die." I retorted.

**This will be really hard for me to write, but I'm going to anyway. The other chapters probably won't be as short as this one, a little longer, I promise.**

**Review. Do you think I should continue? **


	2. Chapter 2

Emmett frowned. "You're not going to die Edward." he said, I could see the pain in his eyes. It was hard for me to look into them straight.

"I will, and before that happens, I want to have fun with my life." I announced.

"Whats your list Edward?" Jasper asked, the room was tense now, as if I was going to die this second.

"Its upstairs, can you go get it for me? I'm weak."

"Sure thing." Emmett grumbled running upstairs to my room. Seconds later Emmett was back with a piece of paper in his hands, he was reading the list silently to himself. He handed me the piece of paper and sat back down. I skimmed the writing quickly.

_Sing in a band_

_Bungee jump off a bridge_

_Rock climb_

"Are you sure that you want to do those things Edward?" Emmett asked.

I nodded, still staring at the paper in front of me.

"Why? What does it say?" Jasper demanded. I handed him my list and he read them to himself. He smiled at the first one, but then frowned at the rest. "Sounds dangerous." he muttered than dropped the paper on the table, letting it float in the air.

"Will you guys do them with me?" I asked.

Emmett and Jasper exchanged a glance, their expressions had a mix of excitement, worry, and fear.

"Hell yeah little bro." Emmett bellowed.

I smiled, my bottom lip cracked and a drop of blood flowed out. I put my finger to the wound and pressed hard. It stopped within the next second.

"The first one is easy. My friend is in a band, and they have a gig tonight, I'm sure he'll let you sing." Jasper said.

"Awesome." I replied, I couldn't seem to find the right words for what I was feeling right now.

"I'll call him right now." Jasper left his seat and grabbed the wireless phone. His fingers dialed the numbers quickly, almost blurring.

"Hey Rick, listen you have a gig tonight right?" Jasper said into the phone.

There was silence, Emmett went back to eating his food, and I was too busy eavesdropping into the conversation.

"My brother has this list of things to do." Jasper was interrupted. "Just listen. And the first thing on there is 'Sing in a band' and I immediately thought of you. Could you let him sing?"

"Yes, its Edward." Jasper said quickly.

I sighed, I was going to get the pity card.

"You'll let him?" Jasper said, the corners of his mouth pulled up. "Thank you Rick, its at the House of Blues right?"

"Okay, thanks man, I owe you."

Jasper set the phone down and walked back to the table. "You're going to be famous." he exclaimed.

"Just for fifteen minutes." I grumbled.

"Its better than nothing right?" he asked.

"Yeah." it came out kind of high.

"Dude, I'm coming with you when you're going bungee jumping." Emmett said slyly.

"And I'll go with you for the rock climbing." Jasper offered.

"What are you guys talking about in here?" Esme asked walking back to the dining table. She put her hands on her hips and she smiled at us warmly.

"I made a list." I said.

"Of what sweetie?" Esme asked.

"Of the things I want to do before I die."

Esme frowned. "You're not—" I cut her off before she could continue, giving the list to her. Esme read it with worry written all over her face.

"I'm not allowing this Edward." she said putting the paper back down.

"Why?" I questioned.

"You could get hurt doing 2, and 3!" she exclaimed.

"Mom, I've had shots all over my body, I've had surgery at least two times, and just getting up in the morning is painful. Theres nothing in the world, that could hurt me even more."

Esme bit her lip to keep from crying, she knew I was right.

"Okay." she croaked. A tear escaped from her eye. "Just promise me you'll be careful." she said.

"Of course."

Esme smiled again, she reached out and caressed my face. Her hand was warm and soft and it smelled of her perfume. Another tear fell and she wiped it away quickly.

"When are you going to do the first one?" she asked, kneeling on the floor in front of me, so that I was looking down at her.

"Tonight, right Jasper?" I looked at him for confirmation.

He nodded.

"I want to be there." Esme said determined.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." I said.

A minute passed of pure uneasiness around the room. It was uncomfortable sitting in such a tense room.

"Well, you said you were going to sing tonight, so go get changed and we'll go out and buy you new clothes just for tonight." Esme broke the silence getting up, rubbing her eyes one more time.

I was going to argue against this, but Esme had already left, walking upstairs.

"I can't believe she is letting you do this." Emmett said in awe.

I got up from the table unsteadily, clutching the edge. Once I was stable enough I walked back to my room to get changed. All I knew was that I wasn't going to die before I did what I wanted. I slipped on a pair of denim jeans and plain gray t-shirt. I looked pretty normal in this, and that was what I was aiming for. Normal. I put on a baseball cap to hide my bald head, then grabbed a tube of chap stick gliding it across my cracked lips. I didn't even look sick anymore, maybe a really pale person would describe what I looked like. I clomped back down to the living room, where Emmett, Jasper ad Esme were waiting. They were all fully dressed in outdoor clothes, Esme clutching her purse smiled when she saw me.

"Lets go?" she asked.

I nodded and followed them out to the car.

It was a sunny day, the ray of light hit my face and it was warm,it felt incredibly good. I basked in the warm goodness, inhaling the sweet scent of grass before stepping into Esme's car.

**Hit or miss?**

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	3. Chapter 3

Since the concert was supposed to be rocker themed, Esme took us to Hot Topic to get some 'emo' clothes, as she called them. Emmett helped me choose fit jeans and a dark red shirt. The jeans clung to my legs tightly, and the shirt made me look buff, which was an unusual look since I always looked thin. When I showed Esme, she gasped in surprise.

"My oh my, my little boy looks like a hunk." Esme pretended to fan herself with her hand.

"Mom." I groaned.

Esme smiled and took out her credit card. "Get changed back and we'll pay for it." she said.

I went back to the dressing room and slipped off the jeans, which got stuck on my bony ankles for a second. Then I put back the outfit I originally had on and hung the shirt and jeans over my arm. Esme held out her hands for the clothes and plopped it on the counter.

"Is that all for today?" the cashier asked.

Esme smiled. "Yes."

The cashier scanned the clothes and put them into a black plastic bag with red lettering.

"Edward, come look at this." Emmett beckoned holding up a silver studded belt.

I walked to him slowly. "Thats cool." I said examining the studs.

"Get it, it will look good on you." Emmett said.

I made a face. "Maybe next time." I said, even though there probably won't be a next time.

Emmett frowned and put the belt back on the rack. Then he found a black beanie and his eyes lightened up.

"You _have_ to get this." he said taking off my cap and plopping the beanie on my head.

I took it off and observed it. It looked nice, better than the one I was wearing, and it was black with some sort of weird lettering on it. The material would cling to my bald head and wouldn't make it obvious that I didn't have any hair.

"Esme, can I get this too?" I asked.

Esme nodded and snatched the beanie from my hands and handed it the cashier.

"Is that all?" the cashier asked again, clearly annoyed.

"Yes."

"Okay, that will be forty dollars." the cashier announced.

I walked back to Emmett, who was now looking at the shirts. Jasper was next to him, talking on his cellphone. I would miss my brothers when I...

I completely let go of that thought. Death was not something I welcomed right now, I accepted it, sure, but I wasn't ready. Just not yet.

"Lets go you guys. We have to get Edward ready." Esme called. Emmett and Jasper beat me to her, tapping their feet jokingly when I arrived.

"Are you nervous?" Jasper asked as we were walking back to the car.

"For what? The singing thing?" I asked.

"Yeah. Rick said that they were doing a _Thriving Ivory_ medley."

"I like that band." I said immediately.

"Good, because you're screwed if you don't know any of the songs."

"Whats the worst they could do to the sick?" I asked, but Jasper didn't respond, ignoring my death questions as always.

***

"You're looking good Eddie." Emmett complimented.

I was already wearing the outfit that we bought today, I was showing it off for the last time today, before we went to the House Of Blues.

"Thanks man. And don't call me Eddie." I warned.

Emmett shrugged and walked out the front door to start Esme's car. Esme, rushed to me when she saw me, hugging me tightly. When she pulled away, I noticed that she was wearing a purple mini dress, it made her look like my older sister than my mother.

Esme blushed and then slapped my arm softly. "We're going to be late." she said then walked out the door.

I waited for Jasper to come downstairs, and when he did I smiled gratefully.

"Thank you Jasper." I said.

"No problem." he replied smiling back. He put his hand on my back and walked with me outside. The sun was starting to set, making the sky have an orange tinge to it. This was my favorite time of day, when its peaceful and beautiful.

***

"Hey man. You must be Edward." a guy, who I assumed was Rick, greeted.

"Yup, thats me."

"Okay, so is okay if you only sing one song with us?" Rick asked.

"Yeah." Personally I didn't care, as long as I got to sing, I was fine.

Rick smiled. "Great. So the first song we're singing is _Angels on The Moon_ by _Thriving Ivory._ Are you familiar with that song?"

"Its actually my favorite."

"Good, we won't have any problems than." Rick stated. "So meet the band, thats Xavier on the drums, Jac on the guitar, Michael on the base, and I usually do the singing and lead guitar." he introduced.

I waved hello, and they waved back.

"Calling Vital Time to the stage, Vital Time to the stage." the announcer said.

"Thats us. Are you ready man?" Rick asked.

"Oh yeah."

Rick smiled and started walking to the stage, the rest of his band members following behind him. I was the last to be on stage.

"Hey guys, we're Vital Time and we're ready to rock!" Rick screamed into the mike. The crowd erupted into an applause. Rick motioned for me to get behind the mike.

The guitar started to play, then I started to sing.

_Do you dream, that the world will know your name  
So tell me your name  
Do you care, about all the little things or anything at all?  
I wanna feel, all the chemicals inside I wanna feel  
I wanna sunburn, just to know that I'm alive  
To know I'm alive_

I belted the lyrics, and the crowd went wild, screaming like crazy.

_Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know  
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go  
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon  
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon_

I tried to not think about how the lyrics weren't ironic.

_Do you believe, in the day that you were born  
Tell me do you believe?  
Do you know, that everyday's the first of the rest of your life_

Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know  
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go  
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon  
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon

The guitar started to play, for its awaited solo. The crowd cheered on.

_This is to one last day in the shadows  
And to know a brother's love  
This is to New York City angels  
And the rivers of our blood  
This is to all of us, to all of us  
Don't tell me if I'm dying, cause I don't wanna know  
If I can't see the sun, maybe I should go  
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming, of angels on the moon  
Where everyone you know, never leaves too soon_

My eyes stumbled upon my family, Esme was sobbing quietly. But she was still cheering along with Emmett and Jasper.

_  
You can tell me all your thoughts, about the stars that fill polluted skies  
And show me where you run to, when no one's left to take your side  
But don't tell me where the road ends, cause I just don't wanna know, No I don't wanna know_

_Don't tell me if I'm dying  
Don't tell me if I'm dying  
Don't tell me if I'm dying_

I nailed the last part and crowd screamed and applauded at the same time, it was such an adrenaline rush, it felt great. I jumped off the stage, the people backed away. I rushed to my family, who were now hugging me and complimenting me.

"You did great sweetie." Esme said.

"Thanks."

"You rocked it." Jasper smiled.

"Ditto." Emmett agreed

I smiled in return, not really in the mood to say something else.

Sing in a band, check.

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**Review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, so I've gotten a lot of reviews saying, "Wheres Bella?" or "Whens Bella gonna come in?" and so on. I'm just gonna say, be patient, she'll come in shortly.**

"Wake up sleepy head, you get to go bungee jumping today." Emmett said in my ear. I moaned and twisted around my bed so I was face down.

"Come on Edward, you need to move around to keep healthy." Emmett beckoned.

Much to my surprise, I sat up stiffly, it felt like I was going to fall back down, but somehow I kept up straight. I kept my eyes shut though.

"There you go." Emmett cheered. I slowly opened my eyes, the bright light entered my vision.

"Emmett, I decided that I won't continue my list, I mean, I'm tired just from singing." I complained.

"No way am I letting you back out." he declared.

I sighed and got out of bed, stretching my arms, and hearing them crack, it felt good.

"Fine." I muttered tiredly. "Where are we going to bungee jump?" I asked alert now.

"I already made reservations at the Luxergy and if you don't hurry up and get changed, we will be late."

Emmett jogged back downstairs so I could get changed into an old pair of sweats. I know that you'd want to be comfortable while wearing all those harnesses. I walked downstairs, clutching the railing.

"Edward! Promise me you'll be careful." Esme said, worry was written all over her face.

"I promise." I grinned.

Esme looked at me doubtfully. "Okay baby, have fun." she kissed me on the forehead. Emmett was playing with his keys in his hand, twirling the chain around his finger, clearly bored. I walked over to Emmett who looked excited now.

"This is going to be so much fun!" he exclaimed.

"For me or for you?" I asked.

"Both, now lets go." he got behind me and pushed on my back, forcing me to walk forward.

"I can walk you know." I stated. Emmett ignored me and kept pushing until we reached his car. He opened the door for me and I climbed in. Sometimes being babied was a good thing, but then again, it could get extremely annoying. While we made our drive to Seattle, I was watching the scenery out the window. _This _is what I'm going to miss, I'm going to miss the beautiful green trees, the rainy skies, and the rare sunny days. The big fluffy clouds that dominate most of the sky, and the big round moon at night, with the twinkling stars.

"Hey," Emmett said, catching a side ways glance at me.

"What?" I said, keeping my eyes glued to the window.

"I know what you're thinking, and you won't die Edward."

"How'd you know that I was thinking about death. I could be thinking about cotton candy for all you know." I retorted.

Emmett made a face. "Come on, you're my brother, I think I would know what your face expressions mean by now."

I smirked, he had a point. I kept quiet for awhile, trying to think of a good comeback.

"You're wrong." I whispered.

"What?" he asked, I took him by surprise.

"I will die, and you know it." I said in the same whispering tone.

"Edward..." he started.

"No, and besides we're here." I observed.

Emmett sighed and parked in front of the recreation building. I got out of the car, without waiting for Emmett. I made my way to the entrance.

"Wait up!" Emmett called. I slowed my pace, but not slow enough to make me look like a turtle.

"Welcome! How can I help you?" a girl with southern accent, greeted.

"Yeah, we're here for bungee jumping." I said.

The girl's eyes brightened. "So you must be Emmett Cullen?" she asked.

"No, thats me." Emmett pointed to himself.

"Oh, well your instructor is waiting for you." she announced motioning to the guy wearing a white suit. I was already walking toward him before the girl finished her sentence.

"Hi, I'm Edward." I introduced myself. The instructor nodded.

"Jim." he said with the same southern accent.

"And thats Emmett." I pointed to my brother. Emmett extended his hand and Jim shook it.

"Ready?" Jim asked.

I nodded. Jim lead us to a small room filled with equipment, he handed me a harness and a helmet. He gave Emmett the same.

"Now, you want to put the harness around your waist like this." he showed us putting his own harness on. "And pull it." he pulled on the harness and it tightened immediately. I followed what he said without difficulty, Emmett was having a little trouble with the harness. But after a while, he got it.

"Okay, we'll attach the chord once we get there. Since it will be attached to your feet, it will be hard to walk." Jim said.

"And we're ready to go. Just remember to stay calm while jumping and you're good." he finished.

He stalked off, leaving us to follow. Jim kept walking until we reached a bridge that overlooked the water.

"Oh god." I muttered.

Jim turned around and smiled. "Thats what they all say." he said amused.

I'm glad I can amuse him. Jim kneeled in front of me and attached the chord to the harness around me feet. My breathing quickened.

"Whos' going first?" he asked.

"I am." I said.

"Okay, walk up to that ledge and jump when I tell you to." he ordered.

I slowly walked to the ledge, and looked down, all I could see was the blue water. I gulped.

"Ready?" Jim asked.

"Yes." I said, my voice was shaking.

"Jump!" he shouted and I stepped off the ledge screaming. Everything was rushing past me, it was an awesome adrenaline rush.

Bungee jump, check.

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	5. Chapter 5

**And now the chapter all of you have been waiting for.**

**Edward is 19**

I slurped the hot soup, scorching my tongue in the process. Esme had warned me that it was hot and that I should cool it down, but ignored her, I was too hungry to even care. Breakfast was usually like this, quiet and peaceful, some people don't like the quiet, but I enjoy it. Its a time when you can think, and clear your head if you want. There was thumping coming from the stairs and Jasper appeared. He was frowning and sympathy was clear in his eyes.

"Edward, listen little bro, but I can't go Rock Climbing with you today, my manager told me I have to come in today at work." he said.

"Its okay Jazz. I'll just go by myself." I assured.

"Are you sure?" he asked cautiously.

I rolled my eyes. "Of course."

"Okay, I have to go, see you later Edward." he said then jogged out the front door. I blew on the soup before I took another sip.

"Hey, did Jasper just leave?" Esme asked walking out from the kitchen.

"Yup." I took another sip of the soup.

"Why didn't he take you with him? Aren't you two supposed to be rock climbing today?"she asked.

"Jasper had to go to work, so I'm going rock climbing by myself." I answered.

Esme scowled at me. "You are not going by yourself." she argued.

I sighed, how many times will she tell me no? "Mom, I'm nineteen, I think I'm old enough to do what I want." and with that I got up and left, leaving Esme with her mouth hanging wide open.

I grabbed Esme's car keys from the counter, since I didn't have my own car, and walked to the garage. I hopped into the car and put the key into the ignition. The car started and I pulled away from the garage.

**Bella**

I rested my head on my propped arm, watching the customers climb the wall. My day was usually really boring, nothing new, it was like living in a rut.

"Look at the guy who just walked in." Alice whispered. I turned my head and saw a man, who was probably my age, walk in, he was wearing a baseball cap and sweats. Guys who usually wore that kind of outfit was normally a loser, but this guy actually pulled it off. My heart started to pound as this mystery man started walking toward me.

"Hi, I want to rock climb?" he said.

"S-sure." I stuttered.

The mysterious man smiled. "I'm kinda new at this, so can you tell me how?" he asked, his voice was rough, but still dreamy.

"I would be honored." I said without thinking, I mentally scowled at myself afterwards.

The guy smiled again. I picked up a pair of harnesses of the rack and handed one to the guy. I put mine on quickly, I was skilled at this kind of stuff. The guy put his harness on without breaking a sweat. I walked over to the wall and waited for the guy to catch up.

"So I attach this this rope right here." I said. "And then you can start climbing." I stated.

"Okay." he said and got on the wall, taking one rock at a time. "Oh god." I heard him mutter once he was really high up.

I laughed in response. "Its okay, just keep going until you reach the buzzer." I yelled.

The guy kept climbing, finally reaching the buzzer, he lifted one hand and slapped the buzzer until it rang.

"You can let go!" I yelled.

"What? Are you crazy?" he yelled back.

"Its okay, trust me." I assured.

The guy let go and I pulled him down easily. Once he was back down I smiled at him.

"That was really fun. I think I might do it again." he said.

"A lot of people say that." I informed.

"Edward." he said extending his hand forward.

I reached out and shook it, a little spark clicked.

"Bella." I said, blushing a little.

"Well Bella..." he trailed off.

My eyes widened, is he going to ask me out?

"How much do I owe you?" Edward said.

"Oh." I went back to the counter and started typing away at the register. "Twenty dollars." I said, looking back up.

Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill. "Here." he said.

"Okay."

Edward started to walk away, it kind of pained me to see him leave which was weird.

"Wait!" I called running up to him.

He turned around and smiled. "Yes?" he asked, seeming amused.

I chickened out on what I was originally going to say. "Have a good day." I mumbled.

"Thanks you too." he said politely and stalked off.

I sighed, I just about ruined my chances of going out with a perfectly good guy.

**Edward**

I could've sworn that Bella was going to say something else than 'Have a good day.' But I pushed that thought aside, I just went rock climbing!

It wasn't anything like bungee jumping, that, at least, had more of an adrenaline rush. Rock climbing not so much. But I could still check it off my list, which I really needed to add to.

When I got home, Esme was grinning, her smile reached her ears.

"Whats going on?" I asked.

"Dr. Thorton called, he said to come to his office as soon as possible, he said he had some news to tell us. He wouldn't say if it was good or bad, but I bet its good." Esme said happily.

I frowned, usually all the news Dr. Thorton gave us was bad. Whats wrong?

**Write banana in your review if you liked this chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

Sitting in a waiting room, can be nerve racking. Since your waiting for the doctor to tell you whether or not you're going to die. Oh the irony. Around me, the room was filled with motivational posters. My favorite one was, 'Just Do It' even though its an ad for a shoe, its still cool. The receptionist was furiously typing away on her computer, glancing up once in a while to smile at me. The door opened and Dr. Thorton emerged. I straightened up in my seat a little bit.

"Hi Edward." Dr. Thorton greeted, he wasn't smiling, but he probably never does.

"Hi Doc." I replied.

"So whats the news?" Esme said excitedly.

Dr. Thorton frowned. "I'm afraid it isn't good."

Esme's smile died.

"Recent blood test show that Edward hasn't been responding to chemotherapy lately." he announced.

My breathing slowed, oh no.

Esme's eyes started getting watery. "What?" she stammered.

"I'm sorry Miss." he said, his tone was apologetic.

"Oh god, Edward." Esme moaned, looking at me.

I flashed her a small smile, trying to let her know it was okay.

"How long?" I asked getting to the point.

"Edward!" Esme shrieked.

"No, I want to know." I said turning back to the doctor.

"I give it six months at the most" he stated.

Six months of living. Wow.

"I'm really sorry." he said again.

"No, its okay, I had to die sometime right?" I tried to joke, but it came out sad. I thought about what things I could add to my list before I leave the world. I came up short, but I'll think of something eventually.

Esme started to cry, her sobbing caused a distraction to my thinking.

"Shh." I comforted, putting my arms around her.

"I'll leave you two alone, then I'll come back." Dr. Thorton said getting up.

"Mom..." I said.

"Edward...oh my god...this is all my fault..." she sobbed, she could hardly breathe.

"Calm down Mom, its going to be okay." I soothed.

"Okay? _Okay_? Edward, you're going to die in six months!" her voice broke on die.

I nodded, accepting that fact.

"I'm fine with that, its you who has to be fine with it." I said.

Esme sniffed. "Baby...I'm so sorry." she said.

"Its okay Mom, its really not your fault." I said.

"Stop saying that." she pleaded.

I nodded. "Okay."

Esme continued to cry. Then it really hit me then. I was dying, every second of the day, I was getting close. I hardly lived life like I should, I want to do more than just lie in bed, wasting precious time when I could be doing _something._ Then I thought of the things I could add to my list.

_Drugs_

_Sex_

_Learn how to ride a motorcycle_

_Some sort of adrenaline rush_

I think the second one is kind of impossible to do, since you need another person to have sex with. But the others, I could totally do. Emmett would love to teach me how to ride a motorcycle.

"Edward?" Esme croaked pulling me away from my thoughts.

"Yes Mom?" I said.

"Lets go home." she said.

"Actually, I want to go to the park." I said.

Esme's eyes softened. "Okay baby, I'll come with you." she said.

"No, I just want to go by myself, and think."

"You're going to walk?" she questioned.

"Yeah." I said, simple as that.

Esme nodded slowly. "Okay, don't be too long." she warned.

I smiled in response and got up, walking away from the waiting room and Esme. I pushed the elevator button and waited. When it _dinged,_ I stepped in and let the doors close by itself. When I was sure that no one would hear me. I screamed, letting it all out, the anger, the pain, all of it.

The elevator doors opened again and I stepped out, walking briskly as if time was catching up on me. I kept walking until I reached the park. Kids were playing and the sun was setting.

Sometimes, I wonder if life is a movie, just waiting for the director to say 'Cut!' and redo the scene if it was horrible. Or if someone was watching each of my moves, waiting to see what would happen. Sometimes, it felt like someone was directing my life for me. That I wasn't supposed to get cancer, that it was just in the script that the producers wrote. I wish I could quit my role. But I can't, until I die, then I could officially quit my role. Until then, I would just have to live life like a dare devil would. Taking risks as if tomorrow was the last day of my life. The ironic part of that is, I know when the last day of my life arrives, it may not be tomorrow, but someday. I could feel it.

"Mommy! I got a boo boo!" I little kid shrieked.

I smiled as the mom picked the little kid up and kissed her on the forehead.

"All better?" the mom asked.

"Yes." the kid responded.

If only life was that easy, someone can come along and kiss you and make it better. If that was true, I wouldn't have Esme crying over the fact I have cancer, because she would have kissed my head and made it better. The mom noticed me looking and smiled. I smiled back and walked the other way.

The sun was finally on the horizon, I sat down on the bench and watched it set. Most of the people already left, but they were leaving at the best time. The sun was beautiful at this time of day, its the only time when you can actually stare at it without getting blind.

"Hey mister. Aren't you going back home to your Mommy?" a little kid asked, staring up at me.

"No not yet." I replied.

The little kid frowned. "Won't she be worried?" he asked.

"No, nothing worse can happen to me now." I said.

The little kids eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Anthony!" a girl, who I assumed to be the mom, yelled, running up to us.

"Mommy, this person isn't going back home to his Mommy yet." the kid said.

The mom looked at me apologetically. 'Sorry' she mouthed.

I nodded, letting her know its okay.

"I'm sure his Mommy knows where he is, lets leave the nice man alone, say bye." she commanded.

"Bye!" the little kid waved.

"Bye." I waved back.

That got me thinking, would I live long enough to have my own kid?

**Review?**


	7. Chapter 7

**Bella**

Alice was on my right arm, and Rosalie was on the other side, we were walking through the isles of Wal Mart trying to find some food for our apartment. I was doing most of the talking, mostly about Edward. I could see Alice pretending to pay attention and be excited, while Rosalie was clearly annoyed.

"Can you _stop_ talking about this Emund guy?" Rosalie snapped.

"_Edward_." I said.

"Whatever." Rosalie rolled her eyes, grabbing a box of granola bars of the shelf.

"Rose, stop being such a sour puss, just because Royce broke up with you, doesn't mean that you have to bring us all down with your mood." Alice defended. "Continue Bella." she motioned, Rosalie was glaring at her now.

"Well, just like I said, he is very tall. He was wearing a cap, so I couldn't really see his hair, but his smile is gorgeous, his teeth were so white and straight!" I said dreamily.

"Ooh, looks like someone has a crush..." Alice teased.

"Shut up." I muttered, picking up a jar of pickles. Alice scrunched her nose up.

"Ew." she mumbled.

I rolled my eyes and set the jar back down. "And I doubt we'll ever see each other again." I said my tone defeated.

"You know what they say, fate brings them together." Alice quoted. Rosalie was off in her own little world, she already let go of my arm and started wandering off by herself. Alice still clung to my arm.

"I'll believe it when I see it." I said.

Alice smiled knowingly.

"Do you think he'll be back?" I wondered.

"He look like he had fun at rock climbing, so maybe." Alice assured.

I stopped talking and continued to shop for necessities. I picked up a few bars of soap and some chips. Alice took a bunch of 'Lean Cuisines' and mini brownie bites. We saw Rosalie at the clothing section, she was holding up a top in front of her body, examining what she looked like in the mirror. I snuck up behind her and screamed in her ear.

"Boo!" I screeched.

Rosalie jumped dropping the top in the process. I started to laugh.

"You suck." she mumbled, bending down to pick the top back up. "Have you stopped talking about Edgar yet?" she questioned.

"Edward." I corrected again. Rosalie rolled her eyes, letting me know that she didn't really care. "Yes, I have, no lets go so we can for these and get back home." I beckoned. Alice shrugged and followed me to the register. I put the items on the belt and watched it move up to the scanner. A really old guy was the cashier and he smiled at the sight of Rosalie.

"Hey." he said, he was looking at Rose.

"Hi." Rosalie replied awkwardly. I snickered.

"Wanna go out babe?" he asked. I almost gagged on my own spit, what was this guy? He looked sixty years old!

"Okay thats it." Rosalie said, walking away. Alice followed her, they were probably on their way back to the car. The cashier frowned, and continued to scan.

"That'll be twenty bucks." he said.

I pulled out a twenty dollar bill out of my pocket and handed it to him.

"I'll make it fifteen if your friend gives me a BJ." he said.

"Ew perv!" I shouted. I grabbed the bags and ran. Rosalie was leaning against the hood of my car, she was looking at her nails when I came running.

"Whats wrong with you?" she asked.

"The pervert cashier guy wanted you to give him a BJ." I said trying to catch my breath.

Rosalie looked confused. "Whats a BJ?" she asked.

I gave her an are-you-serious look. I leaned in and whispered in her ear. "Blow job." I said.

"Ew!" she shrieked.

"I know." I said opening the back doors and shoving the groceries in the backseat.

"What?" Alice asked popping her head out the passenger seat window.

"Nothing." I said. Rosalie was now pretending to gag.

"Thats so gross." Rose moaned.

I smirked and climbed into the drivers seat. The back doors opened and Rosalie climbed in without a word, her lips were starting to turn white.

"Breathe. Its not like he said it to you. _I'm_ the one who has to live with that memory." I said.

"Still, its really gross!"

"Will someone tell me whats going on?!" Alice demanded.

"The cashier told me to tell Rose to give him a blow job." I explained.

Alice snorted.

"Ooh." she teased. "I see how it is, your in to old guys now Rose."

Rosalie growled. "Shut up you fuck—"

"Okay!" I sang turning the radio on to full blast. It wasn't easy starting a fight when you couldn't even hear each other. Alice settled into her seat, in the rear view mirror, I saw Rosalie huff and cross her arms over her chest. I let my mind wander while driving, Edward was on my mind the whole time. Somehow I just couldn't get him out of my head, its like he was glued to my memory.

"Bella watch out!" Alice yelled. I panicked and swerved the car, it made a screeching sound. I hit my head against the window, while the car started to spin out of control. The car finally stopped and I was thrown back against my seat.

"Fuck, what was that?" Rosalie groaned.

We were already on the side of the road, the other cars were zipping right by us.

"Alice, what was going to hit us?" I demanded.

Alice blushed. "Well, nothing was going to hit us, I just wanted to say that you were about to hit a squirrel." she said sheepish.

I glared at her and started the car again. Once I was out of this car, I am going to kill my best friend for almost killing _us._

**Review?**


	8. Chapter 8

**We're back with Edwards POV**

In front of me was a piece of paper, the same piece of paper that I used to write down the list of things to do. I added four more things to the list.

_Sing in a band_

_Bungee jump off a bridge_

_Rock climb_

_Drugs_

_Sex_

_Motorcycle_

_Something that gets the heart going_

I was alone in my room, the lamp was on, casting a small glow in one area, so I was startled when someone cleared their throat behind me. I jumped lightly and turned around. It was Jasper, he had crossed his arms over his chest.

"Hey, are you making another list?" he asked, sitting down on the edge of my bed.

"No, just adding to it." I said simply, tucking the list away.

"What did you put?" he questioned.

I shrugged. "Drugs, sex, motorcycle, adrenaline rush." I muttered.

Jasper's eyes widened, he cleared his throat again. "I hope you won't get yourself into something illegal." he said.

I rolled my eyes. "For the drugs, I just wanted to trying smoking a cigarette. Not like doing meth or crank."

Jasper seemed to lighten up at that. He could be so protective sometimes.

"Do you want me to help you ride a motorcycle?" he asked. "I owe you since I didn't get to see you rock climb." he offered.

"That would be great." I said, my tone brightened immediately.

Jasper smiled, then it quickly disappeared. "Are you planning to tell Esme what you've added?" he asked.

I looked down at the brown carpet. "It will break her heart if she finds out that I wanna try drugs and have sex." I said.

Jasper nodded.

"Well, she doesn't have to know." he said.

"No, she doesn't." I agreed.

"Do you want to ride the motorcycle today?" Jasper asked, breaking the silence that filled the room.

"Sure." I said, my voice was kind of high.

"Okay, meet me in the garage in fifteen minutes, I have to get it out of the shed first." he mumbled, getting up. He walked away so fast, that I couldn't really be sure, but I could've sworn that he wiped a tear away.

*******

In front of me was a rusty, beat up, bike. In faint letters, it said Harley, on the side.

Jasper looked at me apologetically.

"Sorry bro, I haven't ridden on this thing for years. And it looks like the rain got to it." he said.

"No, its great!" I said enthusiastically.

Jasper looked impressed at my sudden excitement.

'Okay.' he mouthed. He got on the bike and started it.

"Yes! It still works." he grumbled. "Okay, so get on." he said, getting off the bike.

I shook my head. "First, I want to ride with you." I said.

Jasper smirked, and got back on the bike.

"Get on." he commanded and started it back up again. We zipped through the road like a cheetah. The feeling of riding a motorcycle is like no other. It gives you mixed feelings, fear, excitement, happiness. At one point, I let go of Jasper's back and raised my arms in the air and yelled out, "Whoohoo!"

Jasper chuckled at that.

The wind blew hard, as we were going so fast.

"Having fun?" Jasper asked, as we stopped at a stop light.

"Hell yeah." I muttered.

We pulled up to a deserted parking lot. Jasper stopped suddenly, kicking the stand down, and jumping off. I scooted forward, and took a deep breath.

"The right hand is responsible for two crucial functions in motorcycling, acceleration and braking. By twisting the grip towards you, you apply throttle. A little twist goes a long way, so be careful. You can also use it for a break." Jasper instructed. My right hand started to shake as I reached for the handle.

"The right foot operates the rear brake, but be aware that when the front brakes are in use, the rear becomes less effective. The clutch, is like an On and Off switch. If you squeeze it, you put the bike in neutral. If you let go, the bike moves.

"Thats pretty much it Edward. You know how to drive a car right? Well its kind of like that."

I nodded, that was a lot to take in. I took in another deep breath, and started the bike. I twisted my right hand towards me and off I went, zooming through the parking lot. I couldn't help but laugh at the acceleration. I would have continued to ride, but a tree was blocking my path. I tried to stop the way Jasper had said, but it wouldn't work. I got closer to the tree and panicked. I acted on instinct and stomped on the break. The bike halted to a stop and it would have sent me flying through the air, if I hadn't held on tight.

Jasper came running.

"That was really good! Well, until you almost hit that tree." he said.

I smiled.

"That was fun, but I think I'm going to let you ride it back home." I said.

Jasper laughed.

"Okay, if thats what you want." he said.

"Yes, and besides, I'm really tired now."

Jasper's face went from happy to concerned.

"Lets go then." he said quickly.

I nodded and got on behind Jasper.

Motorcycle, check.

But now, it seemed like the sky was spinning.

"Faster," I whispered.

Jasper twisted his right hand and the bike went even faster. I closed my eyes, and let the darkness settle on me.

**Write BxE in your review if you loved this chapter **

**and can't wait for more Edward and Bella interaction!**


	9. Chapter 9

I blinked once, then twice before fully opening my eyes. The room around me was different, it wasn't _my_ room, but a hospital one. I sighed and felt an IV inserted in my left hand. I heard some quiet sobbing across the room. Esme was sitting in a chair, pretending to read a magazine. I tried to sit up in the bed.

"Mom?" my voice croaked.

Esme looked up, wiping her eyes. She rushed over to me.

"Honey, don't strain yourself dear." she said.

I settled back down on the bed.

"What happened?" I asked, I had no memory of what had happened.

Esme frowned. "When you got home, after riding with Jasper, you came to hug me, and you collapsed in my arms, you wouldn't wake up. Scared me to death. But luckily, the doctor said that you were just tired."

"How long have I been out?" I asked.

Esme glanced at the clock. "About three hours."

"Wheres Dr. Thorton?" I wondered.

"Actually, you have a new doctor honey."

"Really, whats his name?" I asked.

"Dr. Carlisle. But thats also his first name, his last name is unpronounceable." she informed.

I nodded and started to close my eyes.

"I can't believe that you added those things to your list!" Esme exclaimed.

My eyes flew open.

"How do you know?" I asked.

"I found the paper in your room." she scowled.

"Mom..."

"Now Edward, you might not care what I say or think, but you should care about your health."

"What health!?" I asked.

Esme frowned.

"Mom, your always saying these kind of things, your health this, your health that. Mom can't you accept the fact that my health is _long_ gone from being better? Because you're making it worse for me Mom, I _know_ that I won't live long. But you keep feeding me lies." I spat.

A tear ran down her cheek, she got the point.

"Okay." she said getting up. "Have fun with your list, but don't expect me to give up on hoping that you'll be fine." and with that Esme left the room. I took a deep breath.

"Hey." Emmett said.

"Go away." I snarled.

"Edward, what did I ever do to you?" he questioned.

"Nothing, now go away, I don't want to talk right now."

"You know, you had Esme worried to death?" he said ignoring my previous demand.

I rolled my eyes.

"Well, you did. Ease up on her Ed, shes going through so much right now."

"And you don't think I am either?" I said.

"Both of you are. Remember when Esme found out that you had cancer? She just about died, from that moment, she would've had done anything to keep you from being sick."

"I didn't ask for this story Em." I said annoyed.

Emmett frowned and then let out a heavy sigh.

"So how was it?" he asked changing the subject.

"How was what?"

"Riding the motorcycle dummy." he said grinning.

"It was awesome! It was like...like...ugh, I can't describe it. But it was so much fun." I said grinning.

Emmett chuckled. "Sometime, you have to take me with you."

"Sure."

It got quiet, almost kind of a awkward feeling.

"Do me a favor." I whispered.

"Okay."

"Go to the drug store and buy me a pack of cigarettes." I said.

Emmett's eyebrows furrowed together.

"Its on my list, and Esme gave me permission to do it." I said matter-of-factly.

"You got it." he said, the frown on his face never quite left. And then I was alone again. I never really like hospitals, it always gave me that eerie feeling, like its haunted or something. With its fake nurses, with their fake smiles. They're never really real smiles, just ones that are there because you are paying them money. The doctor walked into the room, while reading his silver clip board. He had platinum blond hair that was matted down on his head with the help with gel. He looked up from his clipboard and smiled.

"Hi Edward." he greeted.

"Hi..."

"Dr. Carlisle." he finished. "But you can call me Carlisle." he said.

"Okay." I said closing my eyes again.

"Don't close your eyes just yet. I want to talk to you about something." he said pulling up a chair and sitting beside me.

"What?"

"Well, your Mother and I ran into each other, and she told me that you have no hope that you'll live."

"And?"

"Well, I just want to say that its not true."

"Whats not true?"

"You might die Edward."

"And if I do?"

"Then you do, but right now, you're alive and thats all that matters." he stated.

"Exactly, and thats why I made this list of things to do before I die." I said.

Carlisle's eyes widened in surprise. "Really? Whats on your list?"

"Well..." I trailed off.

Carlisle chuckled. "Its okay, you don't have to tell me now."

I smiled, this doctor was actually nice, and not fake.

"Well, I just wanted to check up on you, are you dizzy?" he asked.

"Not anymore." I said.

"Good. Okay, I'm going to check up on your Mother and then I'll come back." his eyes seemed to brighten at the word, 'Mother'. Well, I guess if he does marry into the family, he'll make a good father.

Carlisle left, but not before smiling at me reassuringly. Well, thats another person who has "hope" for me, great just great. Wait until I let them down, then will they still have "hope"? Or will it disappear in a blink of an eye?

**I've noticed I haven't gotten a lot of reviews lately even though I got a lot of hits.**

**Review! If you don't want Edward to die.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay so a lot of you guys misunderstood my note. When I said, "If you don't want Edward to die." I meant, review and tell me if you didn't want him to die, not if you don't review I'll kill Edward. So are we clear? Good.**

**Warning: Drug use ahead.**

That night, I was released from the hospital. Carlisle waved goodbye and kissed my Mom lightly on the cheek. Of course Esme blushed at that, and then we made our way back home.

It was at home, that I realized that Emmett brought more than just a pack of cigarettes. Emmett showed me a small plastic baggy, with white powdery things inside, he quickly shoved them behind his back like a guilty little kids.

'Score!' he mouthed, Esme was standing just a few feet away from us.

"Off to bed." Esme said tiredly. She started walking back upstairs, then turned around when she realized that we weren't following.

"Aren't you three coming?" she asked, stifling a yawn.

I looked at Emmett and shrugged.

"Well, I got three hours of sleep...so maybe not now." I said.

"I'm not really tired either." Jasper said.

"Ditto." Emmett chimed.

Esme sighed, too tired to actually care right now.

"Okay," she mumbled making her way back upstairs. When Esme was out of earshot, I snatched the plastic bag out of Emmett's hands.

"Where did you get this?" I demanded, examining the contents, it was Meth, I was pretty sure of it. All those drug counselors that came to my high school class made it pretty clear to me that it was.

"I have my ways." Emmett said mysteriously, than grinned.

Jasper took the baggy out of my hands and whistled in awe.

"Man oh man Emmett." he whispered.

Emmett smiled triumphantly and took the bag back from Jasper.

"Well, go get a straw Jazz." he ordered.

"Wait, wait, wait. This is illegal." I said, holding my hand up in the air.

Emmett looked at me and rolled his eyes.

"Its against the law!" I half shouted.

Emmett sighed. "Calm down, we're only doing this once." he said. "And besides, whats the worst the police and Esme can do? You're already dying." he said.

He actually had a point with that, I gave in and smiled.  
"There ya go." Emmett bellowed.

"Heres the straw." Jasper said, handing it to Emmett. Emmett frowned and then started looking around. He grabbed a pair of scissors of the shelf and cut the straw into thirds. He started passing them out to us. I started bending mine out of utter boredness.

"Don't bend it." Emmett said.

I stopped playing and continued to watch Emmett, he had now poured the contents of the bag onto a piece of paper. He divided the white into strips and smiled, shoving the straw up his nose, and snorted.

"Ah." he whispered.

Jasper leaned in and snorted the drug. He seemed to cough, but then he started to mellow. They were all waiting for me to try. Hesitantly, I stepped forward, leaning in to the paper, and I snorted it up my nose. A spark went off in my brain, and I started to get this trippy feeling even though I only had one snort.

"Oh god." I murmured.

"Thats enough for one night Emmett." Jasper said.

Emmett frowned. "Party poopers." he mumbled.

I started to feel different, like something was changing. The room started to fade at the edges, and it had a pink tinge to it. As my feet trudged through the carpet, my senses tingled. The carpet was so soft! Like soft cotton or a feather caressing your face.

"Wow." I whispered. I looked up and saw dust particles in the air. This amused me, it was floating, then it would take a sudden turn.

"How can he get that high already?" Emmett whispered behind me.

"Well, he already had all those meds the doctor gave him." Jasper whispered back.

By the time they finished their conversation, I discovered how bright the TV can be. With all the colors and sounds, like a rainbow only better.

"Okay, I think you have to go to bed." Jasper said pulling my arm and dragging me upstairs.

I turned to face him and laughed, at first I thought it was a giggle, but then my laugh turned even louder.

"Shh. You'll wake up Esme." Jasper warned.

I had a hard closing my mouth and keeping it that way.

When we arrived in my room, Jasper plopped me down onto my bed and left. I pulled the covers up to my face and started to giggle. The ceiling was so fascinating, it was so white and blank. Almost like a piece of paper, except this had bumps on it. I started to see images in the ceiling. Some were stars and others were faces.

One I recognized was a face that I remember seeing.

But what puzzled me was that, why would Bella be the one I was seeing? I only met her once.

*******

When I woke up the next morning, sweat covered every inch of my body, and my mouth was very dry, as if I never drank water in my life. Though that was probably the side effects of the drug. I, for one, didn't like this feeling. Lesson learned, don't ever do drugs ever again. But at least I can check it off my list.

**Review and tell me if you would stop**

**reviewing if I killed Edward instead of making him live.**


	11. Chapter 11

**Guess what?! My birthday is tomorrow!!!**

"Hey Eduardo, have you finished your list yet?" Emmett asked, chomping down a bag of chips.

"No Emmett, because the last time I checked, you need to have a partner in order to have sex with." I said almost furious.

"Whats your problem?" Emmett muttered, his mouth full of the potato chips.

"My problem?" I sighed. "Never mind, sorry I screamed at you." I said.

"Its fine." Emmett nudged my shoulder.

"If you want, I can take you to a strip club and you can find your sex toy there." Jasper said suddenly walking into the living room, he plopped himself down on the couch beside me.

I made a face, disgusted. "No thank you." I said.

Jasper shrugged and turned the TV on. I stood up and walked over to the table, grabbing the keys and shoving them into my pocket.

"I think I'm going to go to get some coffee, be back in a bit." I called behind my shoulder, I was already on my way to Esme's car. I pulled out of the driveway and made my way down to the familiar path, that never failed to interest me. Down this street was multi-color buildings of all different shapes and sizes. I remember when I was a kid, Esme would take me down this road and I would laugh for ages. I arrived at the coffee shop, which was called _Perk Me Up_.

The entrance doors made a jingling sound when I came in. There were only two people in the shop that morning as I walked to the cashier to tell her my order.

"A mocha frap please." I said in a polite tone.

The person nodded and called out, "One frap Bob!"

After a few minutes, my order was right in front of me and I took it greedily, taking a huge sip. I sat down in one of the tables and let my mind think. 'Live today, as if today were your last.' Famous lines that once had been spoken, by a famous person. Thats my goal, to live life like it were my last day.

The doors jingled and a familiar person walked in.

"A vanilla bean shake please." she said quietly, her voice was quite musical, not at all how I remember it.

"One vanilla bean Bob! Whats your name hon?" the cashier asked.

"Bella." She said looking my way, then her eyes widened in surprise.

Bella took her drink and sauntered over to me.

"Hey." she said. She eyed the seat across from me. "May I?"

I nodded, taking another sip of my coffee.

"How are you?" I asked breaking the awkward silence.

Bella's eyes lightened up at that.

"Good." she said quickly.

I smiled at her quirkiness.

"How are _you_?" she questioned.

Dying. "Good." I said.

"Thats great!" she said enthusiastically then blushed.

I laughed.

"Well Bella, nice to see you again." I said getting up.

"Wait!" she yelped. I stopped and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Yes?"

"I didn't have the chance to ask you this last time, but would you like to eat lunch with me sometime?" she mumbled.

I opened my mouth to say something, but then closed it. If I went on a date with Bella, it would cause me to go on another date, then another. Then it would lead to us getting real close and eventually we would fall in love with each other. Why lead a person on when I was just going to die?

"Sorry, I can't." I murmured.

Bella frowned.

"I'm really sorry."

"No! No, its okay." she mumbled.

I half smiled and left. Another heart broken by Edward Cullen, I guess. Sometimes I wonder if I should just get a shirt that says, 'Heartbreaker' warning the girls to stay away from me. I went back home to find Emmett and Jasper still sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Find a sex kitten yet?" Emmett said, not taking his eyes off the TV. I thought about how I saw Bella again, but I really couldn't consider her as one, she was just too polite.

"No, and I told you I went to get some coffee." I said, gesturing to my coffee cup, still Emmett didn't look up. I rolled my eyes and went upstairs, where I could probably could get some peace and quiet.

Halfway up the stairs I started to pant. An unusual action, even for me, I wasn't even walking that fast. By the time I reached the top of the stairs, the room was spinning again. I felt something rise up my throat and I heaved it out. It was mostly liquid, the coffee that I drank earlier. I kept heaving until I was throwing up nothing.

"Edward!" Jasper cried, rushing to me. "Call Esme Em!" Jasper shouted, he was hunched over me.

This time I started to throw blood up, not a lot to be really worried, but enough to get a person panicked.

"Jazz, I'm scared." I muttered.

"Its okay," he said helping me up, he helped me walk to the bathroom. Once I was in close contact to the toilet, I kneeled down and heaved in there.

"Whats happening?" Emmett's voice boomed.

"I don't know." Jasper whispered.

The toilet water was now a bright red, I flushed the dirty water and got up, my knees shook as I did. Jasper pushed me back down.

"Stay, I'll get you a chair." he ordered.

I nodded, too weak to say anything.

What the hell was happening to me? Can't I do something I like without something else bad happening?

"Edward!" I heard Esme scream, she was downstairs. I heard the thumping of her footsteps as she ran upstairs.

"Edward!" she screamed again at the sight of me.

"What?"

"Your nose is bleeding!" she screeched.

**=' ( **

**Review if you feel the same way.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Edward**

I was lying down on my bed, a blood stained towel was shoved up my nose. My throat was sore, and it felt like I never drank water in life, considering the fact that I'm so dehydrated. Esme never left my side, in fact, she was sitting beside me reading a book. Carlisle stopped by, Mom made a house call.

"Did you hear that? Carlisle said to drink a lot of water." Esme said after he left.

I rolled my eyes.

"I'm cancerous, not deaf."

Esme half smiled.

"Well, do you want me to get the water for you?" she asked.

"No, I'll get it myself." I said as I tried to get up.

Esme pushed my back down gently.

"Its okay, don't strain yourself, I'll get it."

"No, Mom." I said quickly.

"Do you want ice?" She asked ignoring my protest.

"No, just leave me alone." I snapped.

Esme's eyes narrowed.

"If you always push the people who love you away, you will have no one." She said fiercely.

"Good." I said matching her fierce tone. Esme huffed, folded her arms over her chest and stomped out of the room. I sighed, what is with me? First with Bella, now with Esme?

Maybe Esme is right, I shouldn't push away love, I should welcome it greatly. But then again, why _should _they love me? Weakly, I got up from bed and started to change in a pair of jeans and a shirt, I was knew what I should do now.

**Bella**

Another dreary day at Rock Climbing. Alice was helping an old man strap on the harness, while I watched a little kid cry in the corner because he couldn't rock climb with his grand pa. The bright side was that the sky was blue, and Mike Newton asked me out. Not that him asking me out was a good thing, I wanted Edward to ask me.

"Hey!" Alice snapped. I shook my head, to clear out my fantasies.

"What?"

Alice jerked her chin toward the entrance. I walked up to him, not really believing my eyes.

"Edward, hi." I said.

Edward smiled, his lips were so pale, probably natural for him.

"Hi Bella."

"Are you here to rock climb again?" I asked walking back to the register.

"Yes." He said curtly.

"Okay, that will be twenty dollars." I stated.

"Will you climb with me?" he asked a sly look came into his eyes.

I felt my jaw drop open, but I closed it before I looked like an idiot.

"Sure." I stammered, I don't think anyone has asked me to climb with them, especially someone this cute.

Edward smiled again, then looked down at his feet. I grabbed two harnesses and handed one to Edward. He put it on without my help, and after I slipped mine on, I raced him to the wall. He beat me there, he was laughing at me panting.

"Shut." I snapped. But he continued laughing.

"Well I can beat you at climbing." I taunted, reaching up I clamped my hand on the plastic rock. I started climbing, at first slowly, but then a little faster. I glanced sideways, Edward was right next to me. I decided to go faster, and when I finally reached the buzzer I let out a victory yell.

"Haha!" I teased as I climbed back down, when my feet touched the ground, I sat down on the ground.

"You were cheating."Edward mumbled.

I rolled my eyes playfully. I got back up and walked back to the register.

"Twenty dollars." I repeated.

Edward reached into his pockets and took out a crisp twenty dollar bill.

"Listen, I was wonder if you would like to go..." he mumbled, he was looking down at the floor so I couldn't understand him.

"What?" I asked.

"Would you like to go..." He mumbled again, a little louder this time.

"I'm sorry, I can't here you." I leaned in closer.

Edward looked up and it shocked him at how close our faces were. My heart beat quickened, as he talked.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" Edward whispered.

I smiled. "What took you so long?"

**Edward**

Twelve o' clock tomorrow at the pier. Twelve o' clock tomorrow at the pier. I thought to myself over and over again. It makes me incredibly happy that I finally have a date in such a long time. Well of course its my fault for pushing them away, but now, I think shes the one.

Bella's the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with.

And who knows how long that will be. Screw six months, I'm going to live for years. I was so giddy with excitement, that I didn't even realize that Jasper, Esme and Emmett were looking at me questioningly.

"I think hes gone crazy, he keeps smiling." Emmett whispered.

Esme smacked him on the shoulder.

"Why _are_ you so happy Edward?

"I'm going on a date." I said.

Esme clamped her hand over her mouth and squealed.

"Really? Well you have to bring her here!" She insisted.

"Why?"

"Well I have to know what she looks like."

I rolled my eyes, of course.

"Just don't scare her away." I warned.

Esme sighed. "Of course not."

"Congrats bro." Jasper said, patting me on the back.

"Why are you congratulating me?"

"Because, this is the first time I've seen you smile like this. So this must _the_ girl."

"She is, it took me a while to realize it, but she is."

**Yay! They're finally going on a date!lol**

**So I have a deal to make with you guys. Help me get two hundred more reviews before I reach chapter 16, and I will type an alternative ending to this story once its finished. And I have a feeling that you'd want that alternative ending...**

**Review!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Edward**

I glanced at the wall clock nervously for the fifth time today. It seemed that the hand never moved, only the ticking filled the air with its sound.

"Ugh." I groaned. Emmett came walking into my room, am I never alone in this house?

"Hey bro." Emmett greeted.

"Hey."

"So listen. Tell Bella to bring her girl friends with her." Emmett grinned.

I made a face. "Why?"

"Just 'cuz." He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes, I finally got what he meant. "You are not going to hook up with my date's friends." I said.

Emmett chuckled and left my room without saying another word. I snuck a peak at the clock again, and I was glad that it was quarter to twelve. I pulled out my cellphone from my pocket and looked up the number Bella gave me yesterday.

"Hello?" She greeted, her voice was so soft, kind of angelic.

"Hi Bella." I greeted.

"Edward!" she exclaimed, her tone was a mixture of excitement, joy, and surprise.

I chuckled at her excitement before I continued. "Would you like me to pick you up?" I asked.

"Yes, if you don't mind." She said quickly.

I laughed again and asked what her address was. I found out that she lived in the worst part of town. I frowned at the thought that Bella could get easily mugged if she weren't careful. I grabbed Esme's car keys from the counter and ran to the car in the garage. In a matter of minuted, I was parked in front of Bella's apartment. The scene around me looked exactly like the movies. A trash can was spewing out fire and a few people were warming there hands over it. I shuddered at how real everything looked. I got out of the car, and rang the doorbell.

"Yes?" A lady said, she sounded pretty bored.

"Uh yes, what number is Bella Swan's room?"

"Hold on suga." there was a slight pause. "260." She said before a buzzing sound rang in my ears. I opened the door and stepped inside, the hallway was a pure white color, very plain, very boring. I took the elevator up to room 260 and knocked on the door when I got there. The door opened slowly, and a brown eye peered into the hallway.

"Hello." I said slowly. The door slammed shut, I turned around thinking this was the wrong room.

"Bella! Edward is here!" Someone screamed , the door opened again, revealing a small girl. She looked like a little kid, but somehow her features were matured.

"Hi, I'm Alice." She greeted sticking out her little hand.

"Edward." I said curtly.

"Yeah, I know." She said in one breath. Bella came running to the front door, she was putting on her shoe when she arrived. When she looked up and saw me, she blushed. It was such a beautiful color on her.

"Hi." she said quietly.

"Hi, ready to go?" I asked politely.

"Yes."

"One more thing, if you don't mind, but my brother asked to bring your friends along. You don't have to, but he would appreciate that." I said.

Alice smiled, the corners of her mouth reached her ears.

"Be right back." she said quickly.

Bella laughed. "Why do they have to come?" she asked.

"I think my brothers wants a girlfriend." I whispered.

Bella's eyes widened. "Brothers huh...? Well Edward, they will have a girlfriend in no time." She grinned.

Alice came back, dragging a beautiful tall blond girl with her.

"Hi, I'm Rosalie. You must be Edgar—Edward, Bellas been talking non-stop about you." She said.

Bella shot a death glare at Rosalie, but I just laughed at the thought.

"Is that so?"

Bella laughed nervously. "Lets go." She said, already stopping her fake laugh. I lead the way to Esme's car, Rosalie and Alice trailing behind us. They were whispering something to each other, but I couldn't really make out what they were saying. I opened the front door for Bella and held it there for her friends to get through.

"First stop, is my house." I said giving my best apologetic look to Bella.

She looked confused. "Why?"

"My Mom wanted to meet you."

Someone snorted from the back, I was guessing that it was Rosalie.

Bella smiled nervously. "Don't men usually wait until the third date to show their girlfriends to their parents?"

"Actually its just my Mom, but if you want to wait..." I trailed off, she got the point.

"No, its fine. I want to meet her too." Bella retorted quickly.

I started the car, bringing it back to life. The radio turned on automatically and it started to play one of my favorite CDs.

"Clair De Lune?" Bella asked shocked. I shot a sideways glance, impressive.

"Yeah." I said before I turning adverting my eyes back to the road.

Bella didn't say anything for the rest of the ride, neither did her two friends. Though I thought I heard some whispering coming from Alice and Rosalie. I parked in front of my house, and killed the engine.

"Wow, beautiful house." Bella commented.

"Thanks, my Mom, Esme, designed it."

"Tell her she has wonderful taste." Alice chimed.

"Tell her yourself." I said, walking through the front doors.

"Mom?" I called out. Esme poked her head out of the kitchen and her eyes widened in surprise.

"You must be Bella." She said, walking toward Alice giving her a hug.

Alice laughed.

"Actually shes Bella." Alice corrected pointing to her. Esme blushed, and gave Bella a hug.

"Sorry." Esme said sheepishly.

Bella hugged Esme back and blushed too. "Its okay."

Esme pulled away and looked at Bella closely head to toe. She nodded appreciatively.

"Good choice Edward." Esme said.

"Mom." I whined.

Bella blushed again, Rosalie started to snicker and Alice was staring at our furniture.

"Well off you go." Esme said with a sigh.

"Wait a sec. Emmett! Jasper!" I yelled.

Jasper was the first to come greet us, he didn't even look twice before he noticed Alice.

"Hi." Jasper said, almost dreamily.

Alice smiled.

"Hello." She said, even her voice sounded pixie like.

Then there was thumping, and then a loud, "Oh sexy!" Emmett was here.

I rolled my eyes, and looked at Rosalie apologetically. She didn't seem to mind that my brother just called her sexy.

"Rosalie." She purred.

"Emmett." He purred back, I guess he was trying to flirt.

Esme started to laugh. "Have fun." She said, then started to walk back to the kitchen.

"So are we all going to the pier?" Bella questioned.

"Uh huh." Jasper, Emmett, Alice, Rosalie replied in unison. They couldn't take their eyes off of each other.

I chuckled.

"We can't all fit in one car." I said logically.

"Then you and Bella take Esme's car, and we will take my jeep." Emmett gestured to the four of them.

"Deal." We all said, kind of creepy how it sounded, the mixture of all our voices combined sounded so weird.

***

At the pier, the smell of fresh water invaded your nose. Mix a little of salt and smelly fish, and thats _exactly_ what it smells like.

"Blech." Bella scrunched up her nose.

I looked at her. "What?"

"It smells really bad." She laughed.

"Well, its nature, and everything about nature is beautiful." I explained.

Bella smiled. "Wow, that was so...deep." She whispered.

I looked around.

"Have you seen Emmett and Jasper?" I asked.

"No, have you seen Alice and Rosalie?" Bella questioned, looking around as well.

"Its been fifteen minutes, it shouldn't take them this long to meet us here."

"I guess they ditched us. God knows what they're doing now." Bella said.

We both shuddered at the thought.

"Sushi?" I offered.

"I'll be delighted." Bella grinned. We started to walk back to the Sushi Shack, the sun beamed down on our backs, making it feel like I was in an oven.

"So, tell me more about yourself." I said.

"Okay, well I major in English and Writing. I'm an only child and I can be clumsy at times." She said with a shrug.

I looked at her, waiting for her to continue.

Bella took a deep breath. "My birthday is on September 8, I'm 19 right now. My favorite color is brown-"

"Brown? Why brown?" I questioned.

"Because, its just makes me feel at home." She said simply.

"Okay," I gestured for her to continue.

"I hate surprises, and gifts. I believe in miracles, my Mom thinks I'm crazy because she says that it doesn't exist." she paused to laugh. "And I'm kind of superstitious. Thats about it, your turn."

I debated on whether or not I should tell her that I have cancer. I decided on not telling her, yet.

"My father, was killed in a car crash. So my Mom had to raise us by herself."

"I'm so sorry." Bella said, she put her hand on arm.

"My favorite color is blue, and my birthday is in June. I am also 19."

"What college do you go to?" She asked.

"I don't go to college."

"Why not?" She questioned.

Either I changed the subject or tell her I have cancer.

"Look lets order some food." I said, pointing to the menu the waiter was handing us.

**Review?**


	14. Chapter 14

**Edward**

I told the waiter that there were six of us. He looked suspicious for a second, then lead us to a booth. I opened the menu and skimmed through the lists of food, finally stopping at one which sounded pretty good.

"California rolls." I murmured setting the menu back down.

Bella's eyes widened in surprise.

"Yum, where did you see that?" She asked, looking through her menu again. I didn't need to show to let her find out. "Oh, here it is. I think I'll get that too." She put her menu back down and smiled at me warmly.

"Hey guys." Emmett greeted sliding in next to me. Bella scooted over to make room for Rosalie, Alice, and Jasper.

"What took you so long?" I demanded.

"We were getting to know each other." Jasper said in an innocent slow tone.

I rolled my eyes and handed him my menu, but he shook his head.

"You know what I want." Jasper said.

"Same here." Emmett said.

"Can I have that menu Edward?" Alice asked softly, that I almost couldn't here her.

I nodded and forked it over, Rosalie snatched Bella's menu off the table.

"I want California rolls." Alice said, still looking at her menu.

"Same here." Rosalie chimed.

"Great, we'll just order the family pack." I said sarcastically.

Rosalie looked up bewildered. "Why is that what you guys are ordering?"

I nodded.

"We can share then." Bella suggested.

The waiter came walking, and stopped at our table.

"What will it be?" She asked.

"California rolls." We all said in perfect time.

*******

After we dropped off Bella, Alice, and Rosalie, at their apartment, we headed to the park to shoot some hoops, as Emmett says. They offered for me to play, but I said no, with my lame excuse that my head hurts.

"When are you going to tell Bella?" Jasper asked, shooting the ball but missed the basket.

I shrugged. "Well I was hoping that I would never tell her and that when I die, she would just think it was an accident." I muttered, sarcasm dripping from my tone.

Emmett rolled his eyes, and took a shot at throwing the ball into the basket, perfect aim as usual.

"No seriously." Jasper said.

"I don't know. Honestly I don't want to tell her." I said.

"Why? Don't you think she deserves to know?" Emmett said, talking for the first time.

I sighed. "Its not her business."

"True, but still, she needs to know." Emmett argued, he started to dribble the ball.

"Why? So she can feel bad for me because I have cancer?" I asked.

Emmett sighed as well and took another shot.

"If I make this shot Edward, you have to tell her." Jasper said. I smirked, he never made a basket.

"Deal." I said.

The basket ball went flying through the air, and made a swishing sound when it went into the hoop. My mouth dropped open. Jasper faced me and grinned a devilish smile.

"Go." He said curtly. I groaned and took out my keys.

My mind was racing with thoughts, how should I tell her?

_"Bella, I have cancer."_ Was my first thought, but it was very straight forward. She might think I was kidding. I stuck the key into the ignition and stepped on the gas pedal. I zoomed forward, kind of reminding me of the motorcycle ride. I hit the breaks when I reached Bella's apartment. I was just here a few hours ago, so the scenery hasn't changed much.

I took the elevator again to room 260.

My feet trudged through the hallway as I approached Bella's room. My breathing picked up, and the room was spinning again.

I knocked on the door, two slow loud knocks.

The door opened.

**Bella**

"God, he was so amazing." Alice said in awe.

"Who? Edward?" I teased.

Alice made a face.

"No! Jasper." She went back to her dreamy face again.

"Speak for yourself, Emmett was the one I was eyeing." Rosalie muttered, folding a tank top and shoving into our closet.

"What are you thinking about Miss Swan." Alice said playfully, smacking me on the butt.

Edward. "None of your business." I retorted.

"Ooh! Someones thinking about their boy toy!" Alice shouted.

I could feel my cheeks get hot.

"Shut." I snapped.

"You guys, if this works out, we could triple date." Rosalie suggested.

Alice high fived Rosalie.

"Good idea." She praised.

The room grew quiet, it was long enough that questions bubbled to the surface.

"Bella?" Rosalie said softly.

"Mm?"

"I hope this doesn't offend you, but doesn't Edward look...sick?"

I made a face. Edward sick?

"No not really. Why do you ask?"

"Well, while we were eating I noticed his lips were really white. Not like his brothers. And he never took that cap off."

"Just because his lips are white, and he likes to wear caps doesn't mean hes sick Rose. And whats wrong with caps?" I defended.

"Nothing, its just..."

"Just what?"

Rosalie opened her mouth to respond, but she was cut off by knocking on our door.

"Door!" Alice shouted.

I rolled my eyes. I walked to the front and opened the door.

"Edward, hi."

"Bella? I have to tell you something." He said quickly.

**Ooh! A cliffie, have I done one for this story yet?**

**Review! The deal is still on, and we are dangerously close to chapter 16...**


	15. Chapter 15

**Edward**

"What do you have to tell me?" Bella asked, a smile was plastered on her face, which slowly faded when she sensed something was wrong. "You're scaring me." she whispered when I didn't respond.

I took a deep breath.

"I'm sick." I announced, trying to be strong.

Bella pursed her lips.

"Do you want some medicine or something? You scared me there for a second, I thought it was something big."

I opened my mouth, willing the words to flow out, but nothing came. Bella's eyes widened as she realized.

"You're not sick as in cold are you." she tried to make it sound like a question, instead it came out as a statement.

"Bella..." I groaned.

"What? Whats wrong with you?" she asked.

"I have brain cancer okay?" I almost shouted.

Bella took a step back, clearly stunned. She looked almost offended.

"I knew it." I said and ran back to the elevator.

"Edward wait!" Bella ran after me, but the elevator door was already closing.

**Bella**

Its not everyday someone tells you that they have brain cancer. Sure, I was shocked, but it wasn't like I was disgusted. I ran back to the apartment, looking everywhere for my keys. Alice came out of the bathroom, wiping her hands on her shirt.

"Whats wrong?" she asked.

"EdwardhascancerandheleftIhavetogofindhim." I said in one breath, opening some drawers in the process.

"Woah, back up." Alice said. "Edward has _cancer_?"

I nodded, afraid that if I speak my voice will quiver.

"Oh my god." Alice said. "Where is he?" she started looking around.

"I don't know, I'm going to go after him. Have you seen my keys?" I finally gave up on my search.

"Didn't Rosalie give them to you?" Alice said confused.

I patted my pockets, feeling the lump my keys made. Alice rolled her eyes, and sat down on the couch. I jogged down the stairs, shoving the door open revealing the bright world outside. The car made a beeping sound, and I opened the door. I stuck the key in the ignition and stepped on the gas pedal. I was at Edward's house in no time.

I rang the doorbell twice, before Edward's brother, Emmett, answered. He smiled at the sight of me.

"Bella. Is Rosalie with you?" he asked looking past me.

I raised one eyebrow. "No, but is Edward here?"

"I thought he was with you." Emmett said confused.

"He was, but then he ran away."

"What did he tell you?"

"He has cancer." my voice broke.

Emmett sighed.

"And I guess the way I reacted made him think I didn't like him anymore. But I was just shocked." I said, I could feel the tears coming, the burning sensation in my eyes.

Emmett sighed, covering his eyes with his hand.

"I'm sorry." I whispered.

"Its not your fault, Edward tends to do this. He can be melodramatic sometimes." Emmett said. "Are you going to dump him?" he asked, removing his hand from his eyes.

"No! He is still the same person I met. The person that I really really like. And maybe even love." I said.

Emmett smirked stepping away from the door. "Come in." he gestured. I stepped into the familiar corridor. I took in as much as I could. The color of the walls, the paintings. Gorgeous would be a word to describe it.

"Take a seat. Edward should be here soon I guess." Emmett offered.

I smiled and sat down on the leather couch.

"How long has Edward have cancer?" I asked, curiosity getting the best of me. When Emmett didn't respond, I got the feeling that he didn't really want to say.

"Its okay, you don't have to tell me." I said quickly, regretting the fact I even asked the question in the first place.

Emmett took in a big breath.

"Its just hard for me to talk about it." he said sadly.

"You don't have to-"

"No, you should know. You two _are_ going out after all." Emmett shrugged.

"When Edward was diagnosed, he was a sophomore in High School. I still remember that day clearly, even though it was three years ago. He went into a regular doctors appointment because Edward was having a really bad head ache non stop for a week. We all thought that it was just from Edward's previous game in football, but it was more than that. That summer, we found out that Edward had a primary brain tumor. Esme, our Mom, just about had a heat attack. We all were devastated. Except Edward, he seemed to have tons of hope back then. But all the surgeries, and transfusions he went through, it weakened his hope instead of making it stronger." Emmett seemed so heart broken, as if talking about it would make it even worse.

"But wouldn't chemotherapy cure him?" I asked stupidly.

Emmett shook his head. "We just found out that it wasn't working. And in his case, Edward's malignant, which means that its growing fast."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, Edward doesn't want anyone to feel bad for him. He just wants to be normal again."

The tears were coming full speed now. There was no way I could stop it.

The door opened, and I turned around. I stood up and ran to him.

"Edward." I rejoiced, wrapping my arms around him.

"Bella?" he said, he went limp in my arms. I heard myself shriek, as I sunk to the floor and laid him down there. Emmett rushed to my side.

"Esme! Jasper! Bring the car around, Edwards' not breathing right."

I looked up at Emmett worried.

"What?" I was almost in hysterics.

Jasper was the first to come running.

"Hey Bella." he greeted before running outside. I was in such a panic mode that I didn't even realize he said that.

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked Emmett as he lifted Edward off the ground.

"Right now, I have no clue."

**Two cliffies in a row! Wow.**

**Review! You guys are almost to 400 reviews, thats your goal. Unless you don't want that alternative ending.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Edward**

Its a strange feeling you know. Passing out, usually in books, an author would describe it dramatically. Like, 'It felt like the world was going dark. My life ending quickly, as I closed my eyes and drifted.' But thats just a big fat lie. Because all you feel is nothing. You go limp.

My eyes fluttered open, I was no longer at my house. Instead I was at another hospital room, strapped to a hospital bed. It seemed like my whole family was in that little room. Emmett and Jasper were on the couch, and Esme was sitting at the foot of my bed, reading another magazine about 'Health'. But it was Bella that looked out of place. She was leaning against the wall, watching me carefully.

"Hi." I croaked.

In three big strides, Bella was by my side.

"You scared me there." she said.

"Why are you here?" it sounded like I was being rude.

Bella frowned. "Do you not want me to be here?" she asked.

I sighed. "Not really."

"Edward!" Esme gasped. "Excuse him, he doesn't like people seeing him this vulnerable."

"Its okay Miss Cullen." Bella said, she turned to leave. It sort of pained me to see her walk away.

"Wait!" I tried to yell.

She turned back around hopefully.

"Yes?"

"Are you here because you felt guilty?" I asked.

"I'm here because I want to."

"So you don't care that I have cancer?" I questioned.

"Nope."

Bellas really different isn't she?

"Come here." I motioned, patting the side of my bed. Without hesitation, Bella sauntered over and sat on the bed.

"Why did you run after you told me?" she whispered.

"I was afraid that you wouldn't like me anymore. If you were going to say it, I rather it wasn't to my face."

"Why would I stop liking you? You're still Edward, the same person I met that day at rock climbing."

"I'm not good for you Bella, I never really was." I murmured.

Esme put her magazine down to scowl at me. I glared at her back, letting her know not to interrupt. Bella frowned.

"Thats nonsense." she mumbled.

I snorted.

"Seriously Bella." I said.

"Fine, what kind of guy do you think suits me then?" she questioned.

"One who will grow old by your side, one who will look and care after you instead of the other way around. One who will-"

"I get it. But Edward, I don't need a guy to grow old by my side. And I can take care of myself."

I sighed, stubborn isn't she?

"Bella-"

"Edward, we have each other. And right now is what is important. It doesn't matter that you have cancer. Or that you might not grow old with me. Or if you can't take of me. I want you. Thats all that matters, and I won't settle for someone else."

Esme, who was clearly listening to our conversation, grinned.

I opened my mouth, yet nothing came out.

For the first time in years, a girl has gotten me speechless.

*******

_**The following week**_

I like watching things sometimes. Observing their natural habitat, it amuses me. In this case, I was watching Emmett make out with Rosalie. I really had no choice, I was waiting for Bella to come back out, Alice whisked her away into their room to get changed.

Its been fifteen minutes.

Fifteen minutes of a nonstop make out session between Rosalie and Emmett. There was only one word for that. Blech.

After the day I fainted in Bella's arms, my hair was starting to grow back. Little sprouts of bronze strands were now replacing my once bald head. It made me incredibly happy, I haven't had hair in months.

"Hey there handsome." Bella cooed, posing by the door jam.

I was left speechless again by the sight of Bella. No words could describe her utter beauty that moment. Emmett finally stopped kissing Rosalie and looked up. Red lipstick was smeared all over his mouth. I smirked.

"Looking good Bella." he commented.

"Not so bad yourself." Bella teased, walking back toward me. She sat down on my lap and I put my hand on the small of her back, holding her there.

"Where are we going?" I asked in her ear.

She shuddered gently.

"Um...ask Alice."

"And where is she?"

"Still getting ready."

"Ah." I said.

The small pixie skipped into the living room after a few more minutes. Jasper was by her side immediately. The two gazed into each others eyes. I'm not even sure they have kissed yet.

"Alice, where are we going?" I asked.

"We are riding go carts." she responded slyly.

I raised an eyebrow.

"Are they still open at eight o' clock in the evening?" I questioned, glancing at the clock behind her.

"It is, if you tell them about your condition."

Rosalie and Bella shot her a death glare. I just laughed it off.

"Sweet." I said.

"Excuse Alice, she talks without thinking." Bella said, while continuing to glare at Alice. Alice stuck her tongue out.

I rolled my eyes at their childishness. Bella jumped off my lap and stood there waiting for me. Ever since she found out that I had cancer, she hasn't treated me differently, like I expected her to. She waited for me to get up, when I finally did, she intertwined her hand with mine. I kissed her gently on the cheek.

"Do you know how important you are to me?" I whispered in her ear.

"Tell me." she whispered back.

"You're my remaining life now."

Bella's eyes started to water.

"Lets go! I will kick all your asses!" Emmett taunted, pumping his fists in the air.

"I love you..." but somehow, my words were too soft for anyone to hear.

**I don't care if you think I'm rushing their relationship, I like it this way...lol**

**Review!**


	17. Chapter 17

**Okay kiddy's theres a lemon ahead. If you don't want to read it, then stop reading this chapter once you get to the ***, I'll see you next chapter.**

**Edward**

Emmett was pumped up since he found out that we were going to ride go carts. He kept flashing me excited looks in the car, giving little thumbs ups every time he thought someone wasn't looking at him. I rolled my eyes at his childish behavior, but he kept insisting that he would win.

"Welcome to Racing Racers!" a man; who had a horrible mustache, greeted.

Bella gave an awkward smile.

"Who here has cancer?" the man asked in a hushed tone. Bella glared at the man.

"How rude!" she whispered.

I nudged her shoulder. "Its fine." I whispered in her ear.

I raised my hand slowly. "Me." I said.

The man's eyes widened, he bowed his head slightly.

"Sorry." he said.

I rolled my eyes again, enough with the pity card already!

"How much?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Its free." the man announced.

"Excuse me?" I asked, not sure I heard him right.

"Its free." he repeated.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

The man nodded, opening the gate revealing all sorts of different cars, in all colors. Alice ran to the one that was pink, beating Rosalie there. Emmett took the black car, he was grinning like an idiot now. Bella slowly approached the blue car, looking inside before sitting down. She looked at me, I was still standing by the gate.

"Come ride with me." she beckoned.

I grinned and joined her in the small car. I tried my best to squeeze into the tiny space. I almost envied Jasper, he got in the car with Alice, who was small enough that three people can fit in that car. The man with the horrible mustache blew an air horn, allowing us to go. Emmett was the first one to zoom across the track. Alice followed him, going almost as fast. Rosalie; who was in the red car, was just cruising slowly. I let Bella maneuver the car, letting her do most of the driving. I just enjoyed the slight breeze on my face. The man blew the air horn again after what seemed like an hour.

"I won!" Emmett yelled.

"Emmett, it wasn't a race. All we did was go around in circles ten times." I said dully.

Emmett rolled his eyes.

"You just don't want to admit that I won." he said.

I ignored that comment and stumbled out of the car.

"Haha, that was fun wasn't it Edward?" Bella asked.

I closed my eyes, my head started to hurt again, but I didn't want Bella to know.

"Yeah." I said trying to keep my voice light.

"Is something wrong?" she asked concerned.

"No." I lied.

Bella seemed to believe me, but the concern on her face never left. She was beginning to act like Esme.

"That was fun wasn't it Edward?" Alice chirped.

"Uh huh, was it you who told him that I had cancer?" I questioned.

Alice looked guilty. "Yeah...I'm really sorry! I didn't want you to pay. Are you mad at me?" she asked.

I could never get mad at Alice, she was too small to ever hate.

"No, just don't do it again." I said.

Alice smiled.

"Promise!"

***

Alone. Was all I could think of when me and Bella were in my room that night. We were truly alone in my house. Esme was on a date with Carlisle,my doctor. I try not to think how weird that will be. Emmett was out with Rosalie, Jasper and Alice tagged along. I wanted to go home, my headache was getting a little unbearable.

"Whats wrong?" Bella cooed, touching my forehead softly.

"Nothing." I lied again.

"Bella..." I began.

"Yes?"

"You see, I have this list."

"Really? Tell me more." she said intrigued.

I smirked at her eagerness.

"And one of the things on there is...sex." I said.

Bella blushed.

"Okay..." she began.

"I was wondering..." I started.

A sly look came into Bella's eyes, and she crushed her lips against mine. I kissed her back enthusiastically. I bucked my hips touching hers.

"Edward..." she moaned against my mouth.

I took my lips off her lips and moved them to her jawline, licking gently there. She shuddered delicately.

"I want you..." I whispered.

Bella fingered the hem of my shirt, lifting it up a little revealing my stomach. I took of the shirt without thinking, my eyes were locked with Bella's, I wanted to see her reaction. Instead of being disgusted, Bella looked like she had just seen a god.

"Handsome." she whispered, before connecting her mouth with mine again.

I mentally laughed at her comment.

Her kisses trailed down from my lips, to my jaw, to my neck and finally to my torso. She was sucking on my skin gently, then she nipped it. I hissed in anticipation.

"Fuck me..." she moaned. She took of her shirt, tossing it on the floor, her hands were behind her back unhooking her pink lace bra revealing her privates to me. My eyes raked over her breasts hungrily. She took off her pants, throwing it out the open window.

"Oops." she murmured, before kissing me again. I fingered her panties, enjoying the smooth satin against my thumb. In a quick flick of my wrist, I pulled down her underwear. She was completely bear.

"Make love to me Edward...?" she requested.

"Thats why we're here love." I murmured. I cupped her face with my hands kissing her softly. Bella took of my pants and boxer's without taking her lips off of mine. I was inside her before I knew it. We both hissed at the connection, she was so tight and warm. I let go of her face, and gazed at her. Her eyes were closed, her lips pursed. I pushed her against me, our naked selves pressed together. Bella bucked her hips, and I went deeper inside of her. I felt her body, her soft skin and curvy hips. Bella was perfect. I reached up and left my hand in her soft hair. Massaging her scalp gently, caused Bella to moan. I pulled away, some liquid following.

I kissed her once, then twice.

"I love you Bella."

"I love you too." she said laying down on my chest. We drifted to sleep, a blanket covering our bodies as we both lied.

**Don't be too harsh in your reviews, I'm still a virgin and I had no clue how to write a lemon.**

**I'm almost embarrassed. **

***hides behind a tree***

**Review.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Edward**

_In front of me was an endless stream of water. I took a step forward and sunk into the deep blue. I was drowning, and yet, nothing. I wasn't in pain, I wasn't suffocating. _

_I was just, me._

I bolted straight up, and realized that Bella was still sleeping next to me, breathing softly. Running my fingers through my stubbly hair, I thought of the dream and it scared me, was that how death was supposed to feel? Is it supposed to feel like nothing? I shuddered.

My door creaked open; Jasper was leaning against door frame.

"Hey," he greeted, quickly looking at a very naked Bella, than back at me.

I sighed, and got up very gently from the bed, trying not wake Bella up. Jasper looked away as I picked up my boxers from the floor and slipped them on.

Jasper cleared his throat.

"So I'm guessing you checked something off…" he began.

"Shut up." I mumbled.

Jasper laughed throatily.

"Esmes not here is she?" I asked, panic struck me as I remembered.

Jasper smirked.

"No, she never came home." He said.

My eyes widened.

"Did something happen? Is she okay?" I questioned.

"She stayed." He said curtly.

"Stayed? What do you…oh." I got what he meant; I got a mental image of my mother and doctor sleeping together. It seems like Jasper got one too because he shuddered as well.

"Jazz, come we are going to watch a movie." A familiar voice called downstairs.

I looked passed Jasper and into the hallway, peering at nothing.

"Alice." I concluded. Jasper flushed slightly.

"Don't be a perv, she didn't stay the night with me, she came here to pick up Bella, but since she's busy…" he trailed off, glancing at Bella again.

I narrowed my eyes and stepped into Jasper line of vision, blocking Bella.

"Oh and Alice has something for you." He said, walking back downstairs. I rolled my eyes at what it could possibly be. I padded my way back to my bed, shaking Bella gently to wake her up.

"Mmm, five more minutes Mom." She moaned sleepily.

I chuckled softly.

"Bella, I'm not your Mom, get dressed we're going downstairs to watch a movie." I said.

Bella's eyes flew open and then she sighed dreamily.

"I love you…" she whispered.

I grinned. "I love you too, now get up and get dressed. I don't think Alice will approve of your…nakedness."

Bella smirked, she obeyed and put her top and panties back on. Her eyes searched the floor.

"Where are my pants?" she questioned.

"You threw them out the window remember?" I said.

Bella's eyes lit up as she walked over to the window, she peered down.

"Crap! They're not there." She exclaimed.

I snorted.

"Yeah because the neighborhood is filled with thieves that love to steel hot girls pants." I said sarcastically. Bella turned around.

"Did you just call me hot?" she said calling my bluff.

"No." I said stupidly.

Bella giggled and hugged me, resting her head on my bare chest.

"Bella, if you're awake, I have your pants!" Alice yelled.

"Dear god." Bella muttered into my chest. We pulled apart and walked downstairs, hand in hand. I found out that Jasper and Alice weren't the only ones who were here.

"Well lookie here. There's the happy couple!" Emmett exclaimed. I'm pretty sure that I turned a faint red at that moment, but not as worse as Bella who had turned scarlet.

"Emmett." I warned.

"What?" he feigned innocence.

Alice held up a pair of denim jeans, she smiled widely, and with a flick of a wrist, she threw the jeans to Bella.

"Good aim." I complimented.

Alice kept her smile there and turned back to the TV.

"Whats playing?" I asked, continuing to walk down the stairs.

Jasper shrugged.

"Alice chose the movie." He said.

"Its like a Best Buy in that room!" Alice chirped.

Jasper laughed at his girlfriend's tone.

"What movie?" I repeated.

"Back to the Future." She said curtly.

"I would have never pegged you for a Sci-Fi kind of girl." I said impressed.

Alice shrugged and turned back to the TV.

"Dude, he has the same name as me!" Emmett screamed.

Jasper snorted. I got that feeling again, where the director was waiting for me to say my lines, but I had no clue what to say. My head started to hurt, which was weird because I haven't had a headache in weeks. The pain wouldn't subside.

"Shit." I mumbled falling to the floor. My hand was pressed against where it hurt the most. Bella fell down with me; her hands were on my back in comfort.

"Are you okay?" she whispered in my ear.

I couldn't respond, the pain made it hard to speak without yelling. Jasper was kneeling beside me, watching me carefully. He had his keys in hand ready just in case we had to go to the hospital. Emmett was in the kitchen looking for my meds. Alice was just watching, she didn't look worried, but she had this look on her face as if she knew what was going to happen next. Emmett handed me five pills. The small capsules always made me nervous. I downed the pills, water helped a ton.

"Better?" Bella asked.

"Almost." I said, trying to get up. The room was starting to spin; I was used to it this way.

I could feel it; in my mind I knew I was getting closer. The cancer didn't want to go away, as much as I wanted it to go away and never come back; it was still there haunting the remains of my life. I wanted to kick myself for ever thinking that I could get better once. Every day it just got worse. Esme once said it would get better. Jasper agreed with her, along with Emmett. They are all liars.

But they still love me. I needed to make a decision, a life changing one that could happen if I tried. I licked my lips in anticipation as I looked Bella in the eyes.

"Will you marry me?"

The room grew silent, and Bella froze, she was still looking at me in the eyes.

_'Cut!'_ the director would yell.

**Oh crap! What is she going to say…?**

**Lol I'm sorry for another cliffy. I just had to.**

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	19. Chapter 19

**Bella**

My jaw dropped open. The room around me was silent, so silent in fact that if you dropped a pin, you would probably hear it. Did Edward really say that? He was looking me straight in the eyes; the kind of look that you knew was serious. The palms of my hand started to damp.

"You _have_ to let me do the wedding!" Alice said, breaking the silence. It was as if she broke a spell of some sort because the room suddenly became alive. I got up slowly, Edward watched me as I did so, and his eyes never left mine.

"Bro, are you serious?" Emmett asked, clamping his hand on Edward's shoulder. Edward flinched at the contact.

"As a heartbeat." He whispered.

I took a deep breath and willed my voice to say something, anything, to keep from this torture that was inflicted on the both of us. I knew I loved Edward, from the moment I saw him I knew that something will come between us. But marriage, it wasn't something I could handle right now. Could I tell him this? And break his heart in the process? What if he didn't understand? What if he hated me for saying no?

"Man oh man Edward, what have you done?" Jasper muttered, walking to the couch, he plopped himself and stared blankly at the TV.

"Just tell me Bella." Edward pleaded.

I swallowed the lump in my throat. But if I do say yes, we could live happily together. We could spend each moment together, everyday. And God knows how long that is. I really do love Edward, so what's stopping me from saying yes?

I knew the answer of course. It would be the heartbreak when he…dies. But I've always believed in miracles since I was a little kid, maybe it will work out.

Edward frowned. "Is that a no?" he said softly.

"No." I said. "It's a yes."

**Edward**

It took all of my power to keep from picking Bella up and yelling like a mad man. I couldn't help my wide grin though, that just came on its own.

"Really?" I asked, almost not believing her words.

Bella nodded, a smile slowly spread across her face.

"You have to let me do the wedding!" Alice yelled again. When Bella ignored her, she pouted.

"Why not?" Alice questioned in a whiny voice.

"It's our wedding." Bella said simply. Alice folded her arms across her chest and turned to face me.

"Edward…" she began. "We've only known each other for like three weeks, but aren't we really close now? I'm going to be your sister in law one day, so you might as well let me." She said.

I looked at her questioningly. "Sister-in-law?"

Alice almost went red, but it went away quickly, she gazed at Jasper without saying another word. I knew what she meant.

"Ask Bella." I said. Alice rolled her eyes making her look like a little kid.

"She will say no!" Alice exclaimed. Bella sighed.

"You're making this into a big deal." Bella said.

"Well I wouldn't have to if you let me." She said as it were the obvious.

I knew this conversation wouldn't go anywhere, Bella had to say yes or else we'll be here forever.

"Fine." Bella muttered.

Alice's little jaw dropped.

"I need my cell phone." Alice mumbled to herself. "Cake, dress, flowers, tuxes, priest, church." She chanted to herself as she exited the room, Jasper followed her.

I smirked at the Bella's expression.

"What made you say yes?" I asked.

"To you or Alice?" she asked.

"Alice."

Bella shrugged.

"Trust me; I've known her longer than you have. She will never let it go." And with that, she sighed again. I almost laughed. Then Bella's expression changed.

"Will your Mom be okay with you getting married at nineteen?" she asked in a small voice.

"Maybe, maybe not, but I'm an adult now. We wouldn't need her consent." I waved it off.

The frown didn't leave Bella's face.

"My parents will care." She said.

"Then I'll talk to them."

She looked dubious.

"Have you talked to them about me?" I asked.

She nodded quickly.

"Right after you asked me out on that date."

"So it wouldn't be a problem." I said, getting the keys to Esme's car, but then I quickly realized that she wasn't here today.

"Actually, there is…they don't know you have cancer."

***

The ride to Bella's parent's house wasn't very far from my house. Just about a twenty minute drive if you drove at an eighty speed that is. There house was pretty small compared to mine, with a lawn every neighbor would envy.

"Are you sure you want to talk to them?" Bella questioned.

I nodded determined.

"Just…don't hate me once you meet them." She sighed.

"Why would I hate you?" I asked.

"You'll see." She said getting out of the car. I followed her as she walked up the steps and onto the porch. She rang the doorbell twice before the door swung open. A man who looked like he could beat you up with a club grinned and pulled Bella into a hug.

"Daddy!" Bella exclaimed.

"Hi Bells. Nice to see you." He said.

"Dad, this is Edward." Bella said, taking a step back. He grinned and shook my hand. His grip almost crushed my hand.

"Hello Mr. Swan." I greeted.

"Call me Charlie." He corrected. "Well come in, Renee's been waiting for you." He said walking back into his house. Bella took my hand and squeezed it lightly.

"This is my Mom." Bella pointed. Renee pulled me into a tight hug.

"So this is the Edward you've been talking about." Renee said, looking at me head to toe.

Bella blushed slightly.

"You have a lovely house Mrs. Swan." I said, trying to be polite.

"Thank you honey, and feel free to call me Renee."

Great, we're already on the first name basis. When Renee pulled away from me, her eyes zeroed in on Bella's hand, which was still clung to mine. Then when she saw nothing, she blushed and went back to the kitchen.

"What just happened?" I whispered in Bella's ear.

"I think she was looking for a ring." She whispered back.

"Ah." I nodded.

"Well, what brings you two here?" Charlie asked suddenly.

"Well…" I began before Bella elbowed me softly.

"Look, dinners ready!" Bella said, walking to the dining table. I smiled and joined her.

"What were you saying?" Renee asked, carrying a bowl of lettuce.

"Well, I was going to ask for your blessings." I said.

Bella moaned, her head falling into her hands.

Charlie's eyes narrowed at me.

"Blessings for what boy?" he asked, all the friendliness was gone.

"We decided to get married." I stated.

Renee's eyes popped open.

"_Married?_ Its only been a month!" she shouted.

I shrugged; I really didn't want to wait any longer than a month to find what Bella gives. I wanted to say this, instead I said, "Will you give your blessings?" I asked.

"No way in hell will I give my blessing." Charlie sneered.

This was going to be hard.

"Why are you two rushing?" Renee questioned.

The truth was a hard thing to say some times, but then it's usually better to say it than lie.

"I have cancer, and I didn't want to wait five months before I married Bella. In truth, I just want a chance to be normal, have a life that I was supposed to have. If I should wait, like you want us to, I'm afraid that I might not have that chance. I'm just begging you to give us your blessings."

And for once in my life, I actually got an adult besides my Mom, speechless.

**Are you surprised that this was posted? **

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	20. Chapter 20 part 1

**Edward**

I'm pretty sure I had the room stunned with my words. Even Bella, who knew that I had cancer, had her mouth hanging open. I cleared my throat hoping that it would make someone speak.

"Oh my." Renee whispered, I guess it worked then.

Charlie faked coughed into his hand. "Wow, well I guess…if you put it that way…." He said.

A grin slowly spread across my face, is he going to give the blessings?

"Edward." Renee smiled warmly, reaching across the table for my hand. She rested her warm hand on top of mine and blinked. "I see that you two are clearly in love, so what's stopping you? We give you our blessings." She granted. Bella still had her mouth open, I leaned in close to her and whispered, "Close your mouth or you will swallow a fly."

Bella obeyed and slowly closed her mouth, her eyes were still wide.

"How long have you had cancer?" Charlie asked, taking a sip of water.

There was a bump under the table; Charlie winced, while Bella glared at her father.

"Dad…" Bella growled.

"Well, I've had cancer for three years now. I was diagnosed when I was sixteen." I informed.

Charlie whistled. "Must have been tough." He said.

I nodded. "Yes sir, it was."  
Renee looked like she was about to burst into tears.

"Lets get on with food shall we?" she said, her voice shaking a little bit.

*******

Its been two weeks since I have proposed to Bella, when Esme came home that day, Emmett couldn't keep his mouth shut and just had to blurt it out. Now Esme is helping with the décor and the dresses. She knew a designer in Paris, who owed her a favor. It didn't come in a surprise when she announced that, she had her ways. The ring I've bought Bella is simple. She didn't want something with a big diamond, just one that she will treasure for years to come **(pic on profile)**.

Every morning, I got up, the room spinning and my head always winded up in the waste bin. The room always filled with the sound of me throwing up. I was getting worse every day, but I put it off as laziness. I didn't want my family or Bella to worry about me. Alice was taking forever to set up the wedding. It seemed like every caterer she signed up for put us on a six month waiting list.

"That's what you get for rushing…" Alice tittered every time Bella brought it up.

My face was now a very pale color, almost transparent. I sometimes sneak into Esme's room and use her concealer so no one will notice my sickened face. At the thought of a man wearing makeup always cracks me up.

"Edward!" Bella had yelled. It was a sunny afternoon that day; Alice was on the phone constantly trying to convince restaurants to cater our wedding on such a short notice. None of the caterers were willing to come. Bella had given up on finding one, and she needed to talk to me.

"Is it okay if we serve McDonalds at the wedding?" she asked me in an apologetic tone. I smirked at the thought of everyone getting a happy meal.

"Whatever makes you happy love." I said, kissing her cheek softly.

Alice pouted.

"It won't make _me_ happy!" she exclaimed.

I chuckled and left the two to argue about what food to serve. I had passed Jasper on my way back to my room, he had a mixed expression on his face, I couldn't decide if it was a look of exasperation or sorrow.

But that was over a month ago, I'm still living surprisingly. The wedding planning is done, and tomorrow is the day that I would get married to Bella. All this time, I've watched Bella panic about little things while sitting in my chair. I wasn't able to do much during this time, but she still loved me like she should.

Music started to play suddenly, I was in a church. Time must have escaped me again. Bella started to walk in, slowly going down the aisle. She was beautiful in her wedding dress, which Alice must have picked out for her.

'Hello,' I mouthed.

'I love you' she mouthed back. I smiled and we both turned to the priest.

"We gather here today…" the priest began.

*******

On the dance floor of the reception, we were swaying side to side slowly. Bella rested her head on my shoulder, the song that we both picked started to play by the same band that I performed with. The song was by Edwin Mcain, the song itself was called 'I could not ask for more'.

_Lying here with you,  
Listening to the rain,  
Smiling just to see, The smile upon your face,  
These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive,  
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life,  
I found all I've waited for,  
And I could not ask for more.  
Looking in your eyes,  
Seeing all I need,  
Everything you are, Is everything to me,  
These are the moments, I know heaven must exist,  
These are the moments, I know all I need is this,  
I have all I've waited for,  
And I could not ask for more._

I felt my breathing slow. I leaned down and kissed Bella slowly on the lips, cameras clicked feverishly.

_I could not ask for more than this time together,  
I could not ask for more than this time with you,  
Every prayer has been answered,  
Every dream I have's come true,  
Yeah right here in this moment, Is right where I'm meant to be,  
Here with you, Here with me. . ._

The band was exceptionally good at playing this song, played the right notes at the right time, stayed on tune.

_These are the moments, I thank God that I'm alive,  
These are the moments, I'll remember all my life,  
I've got all I've waited for,  
And I could not ask for more. . ._

I thought about my list as I continued to dance with Bella. All the things I wanted to do were done now, the 'something gets the heart going' is this right here. Bella made my heart pump like crazy.

_I could not ask for more than this time together,  
I could not ask for more than this time with you,  
Every prayer has been answered,  
Every dream I have's come true,  
And right here in this moment, Is right where I'm meant to be,  
Here with you, Here with me. . ._

"Bella, I love you…" I whispered, my voice almost gone.

"I love you too." She whispered back.

_I could not ask for more than the love you give me,  
Cause it's all I've waited for . . .  
And I could not ask for more,  
I could not ask for more._

The song finished, but Bella didn't pull away, not like I wanted her to. I didn't ever want her to leave me. I closed my eyes, and went limp.

**Bella**

"Oh my god!" I yelled, Edward was in my arms, his weight was sinking me to the floor.

My family and his rushed to us. All of them panicked stricken.

"Call an ambulance!" someone yelled.

"Already did!" someone else shouted.

"Edward, wake up." I said desperately, shaking him gently. _Please God, not now._ I begged silently.

Esme was tearing up.

The ambulance came quickly, they put him on the gurney and rushed away. I had asked to stay with him on the way over. I was holding his hand the entire time.

**Edward**

I couldn't open my eyes, they were glued shut. I could hear my surroundings though; there was some beeping, some crying, some shuffling, and some sniffling. I felt pressure on my right hand. I tried my best to open my eyes.

When I finally did, Bella was looking down at me, her eyes were red.

"Hey." She croaked.

I couldn't respond, I just lightly squeezed her hand back in response.

"You scared me." she whispered.

"I love you…" I whispered my voice barely audible.

"I love you too." She whispered back. I nodded softly and closed my eyes for the last time.

_At first I did fear death, but now I'm welcoming it, because I've done everything I've ever wanted._

_I could not ask for more than this time together,  
I could not ask for more than this time with you,  
Every prayer has been answered,  
Every dream I have's come true._

_The heart monitor went dead._

**=' (**

**That's all I want to say right now, but I can't…**

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**The ring, the song, its all on my profile, as well as the awards site.**

**I'm happy to announce that this story has been nominated! Link to that is on my profile…**

**And since you all have been such good reviewers, the alternative ending will come next week, or maybe sooner if I have the time.**

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**Review if you hate me, review cause your sad, review cause you want to.**


	21. Chapter 20 part 2

**By the way you guys, this isn't the alternative ending, **_**this**_** is a closure for some of you ;) who begged me to write it. The alternative ending will be the next chapter, I promise.**

**I have a little game for you, whoever puts the letters together, that is in **_**bold**_** will be mentioned in the alternative ending. (hint, they go in order) and no, this A/N doesn't count, or Bella's name.**

**Bella**

Twenty-minutes and three seconds in counting. This is how long Edward has **b**een out. The t**e**ars were falling endlessly now, dripping off my face and onto the white tiled floor. Dr. Carlisle told me and Esme that this could probably be the end. I, of course, believed in miracles so I was hoping it wasn't. I couldn't take my eyes o**f**f my husband, who looked like he wasn't in pain at all, just **r**esting. My hand was on top of his, I decid**e**d to give it a little squeeze. H**i**s eyes slowly opene**d**, and it gave me a little fa**i**th.

"Hey." I mumbled, I tried to hide the shakiness of it.

He didn't say anything, but the smallest amount of pressure was put on my hand.

"You scared me." I said.

"I love you…" he seemed to say, it was hard to tell because his voice was so soft.

"I love you too." I said immediately.

He closed his eyes, me thinking that he was just going back to sleep. His heart monitor kept beeping, a sound that I loved to here.

"Esme," I said, turning my neck slightly, but I kept my eyes on his face.

"Yes?" she hummed, swiftly walking over to m**e**.

"How can you do this so calmly?" I asked another tear fell. She knew what I meant; her hand softly caressed my back in comfort.

"Honey, I've been through this for years, I know how to keep a tough face. But inside, I just want to scream, and cry. But what's that going to do?"  
My tears betrayed me, continuing to fall down my face without warning. The heart monitor stopped beeping suddenly, causing me to jump.

"Oh my god." I whispered. "Get Carlisle!" I screeched, jumping out of my seat.

Esme covered her mouth with a shaking hand.

"No." she mumbled.

I whipped my head around to face her, looking at her as if she were a crazy person.

"What?" I asked almost hysterical.

"I said 'no'." she repeated.

"Why?!" I shouted, not caring if the next room heard me.

"I bet Edward would want it this way, not letting the doctors know that he's dead." Esme said calmly.

"Have you gone insane?" I questioned. I started to run, finding the nearest doctor around.

"Someone, please come, my husband's heart has gone dead!" I cried out, I probably sounded insane myself. The nurses and the people looked at me, first with a confused expression, than a panicked one. Instantly they rushed to the room I had just came out of. I sunk to the floor, I watched as they tried to wake him up, and failing miserably. Carlisle was the last to enter the room, he checked all his vital signs, and then sighed. He looked out the door and saw me on the floor, balling my eyes out.

He came over to me, kneeling on the floor.

"I'm very sorry." He said.

"What?" I questioned in a small voice.

"He's dead Bella." He flat out said.

"No! He can't be! We just got married, we were supposed to go to Hawaii for our honeymoon, we were supposed to live a happy life because he would survive this cancer, and we were supposed to live happily ever after!" I yelled, perhaps I _have_ gone insane.

Carlisle pursed his lips into a tight white line.

"I'm sorry honey." He said.

"We came as soon as we can! The freakin guests wouldn't leave." Emmett grumbled. He was holding Rosalie's hand as they walked out of the elevator. One look at me and he knew something was wrong.

"Wheres Edward?" he questioned a crazed look came into his eyes. I couldn't respond, I just pointed to his room. Emmett let go of Rosalie's hand and ran to the room, where the nurses were still trying to revive him.

Jasper came next, his arm was over Alice's shoulder, his eyes flashed from me, than to Carlisle. His jaw dropped open and he ran to the room.

"I'm sorry baby." Alice mumbled, hugging me.

Rosalie frowned; sad things like this weren't really her thing.

I thought back to our wedding, our slow dance as that song played. He chose that song, saying it was perfect just for us. If you listen to the lyrics, it is perfect for us.

The nurses finally gave up, and pulled the sheets over his head.

The sight of that will mentally scar me for the rest of my life.

My love.

Gone.

_Its over._

Just like that. I wanted to kill myself at that moment; I felt like screaming, "Just take a knife and stab me with it! Please, I'm begging you!" but I didn't really say that of course. I just blacked out into Alice's arms.

***

I found out later that week, that I was written in Edward's will, which shocked me a little since he never mentioned it. He gave me everything of his, from baseball cap, to his football. I didn't really want to take it, it was never mine to take. But Esme showed up on my doorstep with a box full of his stuff. She just handed it to me, and left without another word.

It took me two hours that day, to go through everything in that box. I ended up crying and not stopping until I came across a note.

_Bella, if you are reading this, then I'm probably dead right now. If you are crying please don't, don't make it hard for the both of us. I'm writing this while I hear you and Alice bicker about what food to serve at our wedding. Keep yourself safe for me, don't try to kill yourself. I will always love you, never forget that._

I inhaled the paper, wondering if his scent lingered on the paper.

It didn't, it just smelled like regular paper.

The following week was his funeral. I had no intention of getting up that morning, but Alice forced me too.

"Come on, you lazy ass, I know it's hard, but you will regret this if you don't come." She said, pulling on my arm. Easy for her to say, Jasper and she have been going out for months now. I tried to stay silent during the funeral, fearing that if I opened my mouth, I would lose it there.

I watched as they lowered my husband down deep in to the ground.

I put on some dark lens sunglasses, so no one will see my red eyes.

"I'm sorry." One by one, they said this to me as I went home. I was now a widow, a teenage widow that had the best few months of her life with a guy she loved.

"I'm going to miss him." I said to Alice.

Alice frowned.

"Same here. You should have seen Jasper; he looked like he was going to murder someone."

"Well, you should have seen Emmett; he was crying his eyes out." Rosalie chimed.

"Are you serious? Hes such a big guy though." Alice teased.

"He still has a heart." Rosalie retorted.

"Guys! Not right now, please." I pleaded.

Alice shot me a sympathy look and turned on the radio.

_I could not ask for more than this time together,  
I could not ask for more than this time with you. Every prayer has been answered,  
Every dream I have's come true._

I froze the song. This was _our _song. I looked up at the ceiling; I always thought that if you looked up, you would see heaven, it didn't matter where you were, you just had to look up and it was there. The song was a sign.

"I love you too Edward." I whispered.

**Hows that for a closure?! Huh? Was it good? **

**Review! And remember the next chapter will be the alternative ending.**


	22. Alternative Ending

**For those of you who got it right, yes it was supposed to be Before I Die, I forgot the O, sue me.**

**People to credit: angelbab696 Cullen17 OECD dolphinherovamp5 FairytalePrincess88 alison94 bellwardluvr JustSickAndTired Zombie's Run This Town**

**Please forget that you even read chapter 20 part 2.**

**Previously:**

_I could not ask for more than the love you give me,  
Cause it's all I've waited for . . .  
And I could not ask for more,  
I could not ask for more._

_The song finished, but Bella didn't pull away, not like I wanted her to. I didn't ever want her to leave me. I closed my eyes, and went limp._

**Edward**

When I opened my eyes again, I was in another hospital room. The doctors were fussing over me, and Bella was quietly crying in the corner of the room. Esme was trying to comfort her, but she seemed to be nervous as well. I was having a hard time breathing, and my chest was getting a little bit tighter. I couldn't handle the pain anymore, I closed my eyes and let the darkness take over me.

**10 years later**

**Bella**

I stared at the grave in front of me. The pain was unbearable, but I somehow managed to look.

_Here lies a beloved husband_

I read the first line of the tombstone, and felt the need to cry. There was a tug on my shirt, I looked down and saw my daughter pouting.

"Mommy, I wanna go home." She said.

I leaned down.

"We will honey." I said, pushing a strand of hair away from her face.

She humphed and narrowed her eyes. I named her Lily, my husband and I named her without thinking about it in advance. We both loved her; she had brown eyes like me, and a strange shade of bronze hair. She was determined to be a doctor, even though she was three.

A tear fell ran down my cheek. A hand clamped down on my shoulder.

"Are you okay?" he asked. I turned around and smiled at my beautiful husband.

"Yeah, let's go Edward." I said, taking his hand.

"I'll miss Charlie." Edward sighed, looking at the grave as well.

Another tear fell.

"Don't cry love, I'm still here." He murmured.

I nodded, knowing that with Edward by my side, it would give a good outcome for the rest of my life.

All of us hand in hand, we were a loving family, one that survived the odds of cancer, and the heartbreak of it all.

As I strapped Lily into her carseat, I observed Edward. In the last decade, his hair grew back. Thick and luscious, with that odd color Lily had. He no longer had that ghostly feel to him, he seemed alive, stronger somehow.

My love.

My life.

Survived the cancer that almost killed him.

Edward noticed I was staring at him, and smirked.

"What?" he asked.

I shook my head.

"I love you."

…**wow, that was short. To be honest, I like the original ending better, it seems more realistic than this one, but you guys asked for it. So what do you think? Did you think that I killed Edward in this one too? Come on, admit it, you did…**

**Review?**


	23. Thank you's and News

**Hello my lovely reviewers, this is just an update about some news I would like to share with all of you.**

**First of all, this story _won't _have a sequel, for numerous reasons.**

**Second, I would like to thank all of you reviewers for sticking with me throughout this whole story, crying with me every time Edward...had a hard time. And for the numerous faves and alerts, this story is even in a few C2s, which I found very cool. Along with the coolness of a C2, this story has been nominated on the La Tua Cantante Awards. = )**

**Third, if you liked this story, feel free to check out my new ones. If you were a Love In A Blade fan, I just posted a new chapter of the sequel Love Is Strong. And if you like Emmett and Rosalie stories, I have a new story called Like An Angel. I've noticed that there aren't many Em/R stories, that focus on those two, so I decided, what the heck, I'll do one.**

**Thats all. Thank you again. = )**

**xx**

**Lei**


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